Inside This House
© 2007 by Linda Crist
Chapter 2
Carson pushed her asparagus around the plate, politely listening to a representative from the Humane Society of Austin and Travis County give a short spiel on the organization's goals for the next few years. He kept almost constant eye contact with Kennedy, and gave several examples of why the current state government was a bastion of apathy toward the rights and needs of animals. They had heard from special interest groups for education, the environment, the arts, urban development, immigration, women's rights, gay rights, and even from the local "Keep Austin Weird" delegation. It seemed that every special-interest group on both the local and the state level had turned out for the luncheon, in hopes of winning Kennedy over to their side.
It was, Carson observed, as if Kennedy were already a declared candidate and they were there to brief her on topics around which to build her campaign. As she looked around the room at the fifty or so people seated at round tables of five-six each, she realized that those not focused on Kennedy were focused on her. Most bore expressions of idle curiosity, though at least two appeared to be annoyed or disgusted at her presence.
She sighed quietly. Prejudice existed, even among the declared liberals of the world. It was so easy to fight for the rights of your own kind while being blatantly against those of others. But those who were all for the medical legalization of marijuana, or re-vamping of the public school system, or other controversial causes, usually found the most sympathetic ears on the more liberal side of the fence, and had learned to get along in order to be helped along.
When they woke up the second time, Kennedy had calmly explained what the luncheon was for, and before Carson could raise so much as a shocked protest, in the same breath, Kennedy assured her she was only going to make professional contacts. Carson had digested that and decided to withhold both comment and judgment until after the meeting. She had attended a few legal social functions with her lover since moving to Austin, and had come to realize Kennedy wanted her there in the same way other attorneys brought spouses and significant others to such events. Kennedy had joked that her Treo contacts list had doubled in a short time, and blamed Carson's outgoing charm.
She smiled. Kennedy was brilliant, articulate, and drop-dead gorgeous at fifty yards. She was also quietly intense and completely clueless that people were afraid to approach her, not because they were put off by her, but because the sheer force of her personality was overwhelmingly intimidating. When Kennedy stood in a doorway, she filled it, and when she entered a room, she commanded it, by her mere presence. Men wanted her but realized instinctively they couldn't have her, and women, even the self-proclaimed straight ones, couldn't take their eyes off her. Carson had seen 'that' look on more than one perplexed female face. She laughed very softly. Carson realized she was engaged to a jump the fence woman.
Kennedy nudged her, shaking Carson from her musings, and she looked over at the taller woman's questioning frown. Carson mouthed the word 'nothing,' and dropped one hand from the table surface to her lap, then inched it over until she found Kennedy's thigh beneath the tablecloth, giving it a little squeeze. The frown disappeared and she was rewarded with a genuine smile that reached all the way to the depths of Kennedy's blue eyes. It was one of those times when the rest of the world faded away, and for a few seconds, they were the only ones in the room. Then Kennedy's hand found hers and their fingers twined, and both women simultaneously broke the spell, looking up and giving the speaker their partially-divided attention as he completed his spiel.
As he stepped away from the podium, Chip took his place, adjusting the microphone as he looked over at Kennedy. "Miss Nocona, every group you've heard from today is ready to throw its full backing behind you in a run for House District 48. What I haven't shared is the statistics." He paused and peered down at some notes on the podium.
"We are poised on the brink in this state. If the Republicans maintain control of the House and Senate, they are preparing to pass bills that will destroy public education and build up private parochial and other religious schools. They are prepared to support urban and industrial growth at the expense of our environment and the poor. They are looking at passing laws that will greatly-narrow our current abortion laws. They want mass deportation of all undocumented workers. They are also re-working Texas' version of the Defense of Marriage Act. When they are done with it, if it passes, people such as you and your partner, and me and my partner, may not be able to protect each other and our children, even with Wills and Powers of Attorney. You've heard all of that, though."
Kennedy nodded in agreement, as he continued, "What we are doing here and around the state, is looking at every uncontested Republican-controlled district, hoping to at least create a race, and even more hopefully, a win. We understand you will be controversial. We embrace that. We want you to run, and we hope after what you've heard today, you will want to as well. This is a race for the future of our state. What happens in November could have devastating consequences, if we don't turn back the tide of selfish politics now, while we still can."
Chip leaned forward, bracing his hands on each side of the podium, focusing only on Kennedy. "You asked me yesterday why we want you, and I gave you several reasons. What I didn't tell you is that we've scoured your district for potential candidates. You're in a conservative semi-suburban, semi-rural area, full of traditional families. We looked at civic and government officials, attorneys and PTA presidents. Our search began at the end of the last election, and we've looked high and low. You're our only hope for gaining control of District 48, Miss Nocona. What's more, as it stands, the race in the Fall, state-wide, is in a dead heat at present. Every district and every vote will count. We have a plan. Now all we need is the right candidate, and we believe that candidate is you. If you win, you have the power to make a difference in this world that will impact our children's future and their children's as well."
Carson felt Kennedy's grip around her fingers tighten and she glanced over. The twinkle in those eyes was gone, replaced by a stony visage. She wasn't certain what she was reading there, but it occurred to her that perhaps they were no longer there to make professional contacts. In that moment, Kennedy glanced her way, her eyes full of anguish. Carson had only an instant to decide how to react, and she made the only choice she could. She smiled, relaxing her expression and her body language, and leaned over, whispering into Kennedy's ear, "It's okay." Black brows rose in surprise, and Carson felt one squeeze to her hand before Kennedy released it and stood.
She walked to the podium and Chip stepped aside. "Thank you," Kennedy spoke slowly, panning the room. "I appreciate all your efforts here today. I haven't been courted this heavily since our high school quarterback tried to get me to marry him, and y'all can see how that turned out." A tittering of nervous laughter greeted her ears and she smiled. "In one afternoon, I've learned more about the workings of Texas politics, than I ever, ever wanted to." More laughter erupted throughout the room as the crowd warmed to her. "I told Chip I'm no politician. Even if I were to run, that will not change." This was met with applause and only Carson caught the little twitch of her lover's body at the unexpected reaction.
Kennedy waited for a moment, then continued, "The bad news is, I can't give you an answer right away. The good news is, I came here today planning to turn you down flat, but after listening to all of you, I have some things to think about. I have a very busy law practice with a lot of people depending on me to make their lives better, and a law partner that will have to shoulder more of the load if I run. I have a brother and sister-in-law expecting their fourth child in July and they will want me there for the birth. Most importantly, I have a fiancé who means just about everything to me, and I'd never dream of taking on something like this without talking to her first. So, give me through the weekend, if you will, and I'll have an answer for you. Fair enough?"
Amid more enthusiastic applause, she stepped away from the podium and moved to the wall, standing near the doorway. She beckoned to Carson, who looked at her in surprise and then got up to join her. As Carson approached, Kennedy held out her hand and Carson took it. Kennedy looked at her and smiled, then looked up and around the room, her demeanor passively pleasant, in contrast to the picture they painted. Carson released her hand and moved closer, wrapping her arm around Kennedy's waist, while Kennedy draped a long, elegant arm across her shoulders.
It was a defining moment -- and one thing was made crystal clear to the people in the room -- if they wanted Kennedy, they automatically got Carson. There was no room for argument or compromise, and this -- Kennedy drew in a deep breath and finally relaxed, feeling Carson's solid support at her side -- this was who she was now, not a single woman, but one who was very much attached. Anyone who had any thoughts of getting her to downplay Carson's presence in her life to make voters more comfortable or make her more electable, had best think again. Her decision to run was far from made, but her decision to spend her life with Carson -- that was not only made, it was sealed in a place so deep inside her that nothing could touch it. She wouldn't allow it.
"Shall I walk you two out?" Chip joined them, allowing Kennedy to take the lead. She steered Carson from the mezzanine-level banquet room to an ornate staircase, and turned to face Chip, who held up a hand to forestall her. "I know you need some time. It's more than we dared hope for after my conversation with you yesterday. My phone will be on twenty-four seven, if you have any questions. Remember, once the campaigning part is over, should we win, the House is only in session for one hundred forty days, every other year. It's not as if you can't have a fairly normal life most of the time."
Kennedy and Carson looked at each other in mild amusement and Kennedy laughed lightly. "If I thought serving in the House would make the other five hundred and ninety days normal for us, I'd sign on the dotted line right now." Chip tilted his head in puzzlement but politely refrained from comment, as she continued. "Listen, Chip, thanks for getting us out of there. I wasn't ready to press the flesh with all those folks just yet. I'll admit I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I can't make any promises to you, other than I'll give it some serious consideration, and give you a firm answer on Monday. I know y'all need to get on with finding another candidate if I decline, so I'll not drag this out."
"Completely understandable. Bottom line, Miss Nocona, after all that dog and pony show in there, is that everyone in that room has heard your radio show and watched your interview yesterday morning. Every last one of them believes you're the candidate we're looking for. If you're willing to run, we are -- all of us -- prepared to support and assist you in any way you need us to. Campaigning isn't easy. I'll not lie to you. But know that if you'll do us the honor, you will have all the guidance and help you need."
"Thank you." Kennedy held out her hand and he shook it, then he turned to Carson. "Miss Garret, it was a pleasure meeting you. My offer to answer any questions is open to you as well. And if I don't have ready answers, I'll find them for you."
"Thanks, Chip." Carson shook his hand in turn and they stood silently, waiting until he had returned to the banquet hall. "That restaurant over there has killer chocolate cheesecake." She turned to Kennedy and gestured across the well-decorated hotel lobby. "You interested?"
"I think you could get me to eat a rare steak right now if it would make all this go away." Kennedy took her hand and they went down the stairs and entered the restaurant, following a waitress to a corner table beside the window. They quickly ordered cheesecake and the waitress momentarily delivered two large slices of the rich dessert, plus a tall glass of milk to Carson and a cup of hot water and tea service for Kennedy. Kennedy looked down, her dark hair obscuring most of her face, as she took her time preparing her tea. She dunked the bag into the steaming cup and played with it, ordering her thoughts. Before she could look up, Carson's hand edged across the table and into her line of site, before resting on her wrist.
"I'll support you, no matter what you decide." Carson spoke softly and Kennedy looked up into earnest gray eyes.
"I was hoping you'd tell me you'd leave me if I even think about it," Kennedy joked. "Would make things a whole lot easier, 'cause you'd win, hands down."
"This is too big, honey." Carson stroked Kennedy's forearm with her thumb, and stabbed at her cheesecake with the fork in her free hand. "I would never dream of telling you what to do. We may be partners, but you have the right to live your life in a way that makes you fulfilled and happy."
"You make me fulfilled and happy." Kennedy lifted Carson's hand, kissing the back of it. "I appreciate you not ordering me around, but I need to know what you think. I promised you, after Thanksgiving, that we would spend some time settling in here. I wanted to just live with you, Carson -- do everyday things together and avoid anything hugely stressful if we can, at least for a while. I wanted to have some normal time with you."
"You said it yourself to Chip." Carson smiled. "Honey, you and I can barely go to the grocery store without it becoming an extraordinary event. It seems to follow us no matter what we do. Like this -- you go on TV and next thing you know the Democratic party of Texas wants you in the House."
"That's true enough." Kennedy chuckled and stirred some honey into her tea, then lifted the cup, taking a cautious sip of the hot brew. "But unlike you getting kidnapped and me getting shot, this is something I have control over. I can choose to walk away with you right now and both of us get on with the business of living."
"What do you want to do?" Carson searched her face, already knowing the answer. "More important, why do you want to do it? What if I weren't in the picture?"
"But you are in the picture," Kennedy answered in an anguished tone.
"Pretend for a moment that I'm not," Carson persisted.
"Sorry, babe, that's a place I don't want to go, even as a hypothetical." Kennedy set her cup down and took both of Carson's hands in her own. "You are the most important part of my life. If I do this, it is going to drastically impact our lives on both a public and private level. Are we solid enough to handle that?"
"As a rock. If this is what you want, go for it," Carson shot back at her. "What's the worst that can happen? You spend the next seven months campaigning, and you lose, and we go back to our regular lives. Or you win and spend January through May next year in House sessions. If you enjoy it, you can run again. If not, you serve your one term and get out. For what it's worth, I think you'd be a very good Representative. But do it because you truly want to, not because of guilt-trips from the Stonewall Democrats of Travis County."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kennedy wasn't annoyed at her words, but truly curious as to Carson's insight. This was another new thing -- seeing herself through the eyes of someone whose opinion meant a great deal to her.
"It means that you sometimes tend to do things out of a sense of obligation." Kennedy opened her mouth to protest and Carson held up a hand. "Hold on and hear me out." She took a bite of cheesecake and waited for Kennedy to quit effecting a pout she knew wasn't completely real. "I don't mean that it's a bad thing. You are dependable. The people you care about, K, you are there for them whenever they need you, even if it isn't always convenient for you when they call. I'm a very lucky woman to have found someone like you. When I went through all that stuff with Nick Giovanni -- that first time he scared me, you dropped everything and flew two hundred miles just to take care of me. And you did -- you handled every last detail -- things I wouldn't even have thought of."
"I couldn't just leave you all alone, Carson," Kennedy argued. "You called me, crying. I -- I already loved you, even then. Getting on that plane was the only choice I had."
"You had a later flight less than twelve hours from then," Carson gently reminded her. "What I'm trying to say is, don't do this because you feel as if the entire State of Texas is resting solely on your shoulders, because it isn't. Don't let anyone guilt you into this -- it's too big to base your decision on guilt trips. You'll only end up stressing and resentful later. Do it because you want to -- because you feel strongly that you have something to contribute."
"I can't help it," Kennedy answered in frustration. "I don't think I can go in without going at it from both angles. I'm not into gay politics. Or any politics for that matter. You know that. But I am into protecting us and our relationship, and what he said about the Defense of Marriage Act -- that alone is enough to get my attention. I have no idea if there are any other gay Senators or Representatives, or even candidates. I don't want to become the gay poster child, but at the same time, he's right. It's going to take people like us to get the rest of the state and the country to get past their incorrect assumptions about who gay people are, and begin to see us as average people, just like them. If I can make a difference there -- and also impact all those other causes I feel strongly about -- if running for the House gives me a chance to do that, even if I don't win, I think I have to at least try."
"I think you have your answer," Carson commented quietly.
"Not quite." Kennedy leaned across the table, resting her weight on her forearms on the linen table cloth. "If I run, you are effectively running, too, sweetheart. If I'm in the spotlight, there's no way you won't be as well. Probably even more than the wives or husbands of other people running. You're not just my fiancé, you're my lesbian lover. The media, and Sanderson's camp will have a field day with us. Are you ready for that?"
"I am," Carson lifted her chin, a touch of defiance already sparkling in her eyes. "Are you? I just have to look good and not do anything stupid. You have to actually get out there and campaign."
"Probably not. The truth is that I probably haven't clue one what I’m getting myself into." Kennedy laughed in honest confession. "But I have to wonder if anyone who runs for office as a novice ever does. Look --" She finally tackled her own cheesecake, chewing and swallowing a few bites of the decadent concoction. "I think I’m going to say 'yes,' but I have four days before I have to let Chip know that. I need to go talk to Valerie, and then I think I'll take the rest of the time off until Monday, and come home and sleep on it."
"I think that's the best decision you could possibly make." Carson accepted the bill from the waitress and whipped out a credit card. "Don't forget I still have a surprise for you for dinner."
"And some puppies to name, huh?" Kennedy winked at her.
Carson smiled sheepishly. "How about you name one and I name the other?"
"Works for me. Can I re-name 'Mayer'?" Kennedy questioned her. Carson nodded in answer, as they stood to leave the restaurant. "Good. I like 'Oscar,' but I think his brother should be called 'Felix'."
"Oh, I like that." Carson stepped out into the afternoon sunshine, which had banished the morning storms. "Very clever. Then I'm calling the girl pup 'Daisy'."
"Daisy?" Kennedy handed the valet their claim ticket.
"Well --" Carson nibbled her lower lip. "Remember those flowers you brought home a few days ago?" Kennedy nodded. "I put them on the coffee table in a vase. It seems we left some pillows on the floor next to it. Did you know puppies can use pillows as step ladders? And that they like to eat flowers?"
"Ai-yi-yi." Kennedy covered her face with one hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Water slapped against the side of the ski boat, as it washed in and out of the slip, hitting the back wall before washing back out again, rocking the two Wave-runners, and rattling the rigging on the sailboat. Kennedy sat cross-legged on the dock, watching the sunset over the lake. She was flanked by Talia and Cody, both of which had their noses resting on her denim-clad thighs. The three puppies scampered about the yard behind her, and over in the corral, Missy and Storm ambled around, sniffing the air and occasionally giving each other a playful nip.
The porch screen door opened and closed, and she made mental note to apply some WD-40 to the hinges. Her back still turned, she cocked her head to one side, listening. She smiled. Carson's distinct footsteps swished through the grass, and if she closed her eyes and inhaled, she caught a whiff of vanilla body lotion drifting on the breeze. As Carson drew closer, Kennedy also detected the fragrance of mint and honey.
"Hey." She turned and looked up as Carson reached her and handed her a cup of steaming herbal tea. "Thanks." Kennedy nudged Talia aside, and the alpha dog obediently moved over enough to make room for Carson. As soon as the blonde was seated, Talia sighed and rested her nose on Carson's leg in the same manner as she had been resting on Kennedy's.
"Welcome." Carson leaned against her a little, as Kennedy wrapped an arm around her. She took a sip from her own mug of tea. "You've gotten me hooked on this stuff. I love the taste, but it puts me right to sleep if I drink too much of it." She elbowed Kennedy in the ribs.
"That's because this brand has Kava Kava in it." Kennedy gave her a squeeze. "Makes you relax. Thanks for the chili, by the way. It was delicious. My favorite recipe, too."
"I know." Carson looked over at her guiltily. "I was planning to bribe you to let me keep the puppies, but you said yes before we had a chance to eat it. Was gonna let you have your way with me, too."
"I think I did that this morning." Kennedy laughed lightly. "So at least half your plan worked."
"True." Carson laughed along with her. She took another sip of tea, enjoying the warmth as it hit her belly. With the sunlight almost gone, the air had taken on an early-evening chill. She could hear ducks chasing each other in the tall marsh grass at the edge of the water, and she knew soon there would be ducklings. She'd always loved Austin in the spring, and was looking forward to seeing Kennedy's property covered in wildflowers, and seeing the orange blossoms blooming in the nearby grove."
"I've been thinking some more," Kennedy mused. "And I pulled up some stats online this afternoon. Winning this district is more than a long shot. It's a near impossibility. The folks around here may be socially tolerant, but they're fiscally conservative, and they vote Republican every time."
"You're fiscally conservative," Carson gently pointed out. "You may be a bleeding heart liberal when it comes to human rights, honey, but otherwise, you're one of the most conservative feminists I know. I can't see you going around throwing taxpayer money away. Seems to me like you'd be very practical when it comes to matters of the state budget."
"That is all well and good, and accurate," Kennedy agreed with her. "But as I already pointed out to Chip, I'm an out lesbian living in sin with my illegally beautiful girlfriend. That cancels out the conservative part in the minds of most people."
"Illegal?" Carson smiled at the compliment, nonetheless.
"Your body should be registered as a lethal weapon." Kennedy leaned closer, stealing a quick kiss. "You about kill me with it on a daily basis."
"Yes, but it's reserved just for you. I don't plan to be killing any members of the voting public. At least not unless they do something stupid that calls for a good killing," she joked. Privately, she wasn't so sure she'd make it through an election without at least a few verbal knock-down drag-outs. Carson had discovered, little by little, that when it came to Kennedy, she had a protective streak a mile wide. Anyone who tried to hurt her was sure to face Carson's wrath if she were anywhere in their vicinity at the time of the offense.
"Well, I certainly hope you don't plan to kill anyone else the way you slay me." Kennedy nuzzled her hair and rested her chin on top of Carson's head, enjoying the quiet moment.
"Yours and only yours, babe." Carson finished her tea and set her cup on the dock, then rested a hand on Kennedy's calf, idly stroking the soft denim. "But seriously, if you're going to do this thing, you have to go in knowing there is a possibility you will win, however slight it may be. If you do win, is this something you want? I know -- already asked and answered, but truly, do you want to be a State Representative?"
"Honestly?" Kennedy felt Carson nod in answer. "Before yesterday it had never entered my mind. When I was in law school, plenty of my friends had political aspirations and law school was just a stepping stone on their way to Austin or Washington. For me, practicing law was what I wanted, and the practice I'm currently running is a dream job for me. I help people and at the same time, we bring in enough on the tech law side that everyone I've hired makes a very good living."
"No kidding," Carson interjected. "When you advertised for Marcus' position on Monster, how many resumes did you get?"
"Um. Two hundred fifty or so." Kennedy smiled, remembering the two days it had taken her just to weed out applicants.
"And it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact you're paying your courier a paralegal's salary, and your secretary and paralegal are making equal to what most young attorney associates make, now would it?" Carson nudged her. "I think every legal professional in three counties around is drooling to come to work for you."
"They all work hard. They deserve to be well-compensated for it," Kennedy reasoned, genuinely perplexed at the thought of paying her staff anything less than what she did. "One nice thing -- if I do run, Val and I both agreed we'd need to hire an associate. We get tons of unsolicited attorney resumes. Shouldn't be too difficult to find one."
"So Valerie is okay with all this?" Carson patted Kennedy's thigh, then trailed her thumb along the seam of her jeans.
"She says she is, so all I can do is take her word for it. She doesn't usually hold back on her thoughts. I think she's thinking this will be good publicity for the firm. Hey --" Felix nosed his way between them and gave her elbow a lick. "That tickles." She scooped up the puppy and set him in her lap. He looked up at her in what amounted to adoration, then curled up into a ball and yawned as only a puppy can, then closed his eyes and promptly appeared to fall asleep.
"Aw." Carson reached over, placing her hand on his head. "That's so cute. See, he already knows you love him." She batted her eyelashes fetchingly at Kennedy, who rolled her own eyes in response. "Come on, you know we're keeping them, now, don't you?"
"Wellllll. Okay." Kennedy stole another kiss, taking her time in slow exploration of her lover's mouth. "Provided I get to have my way with you a few more times."
"Only a few?" Carson returned the kiss whole-heartedly. "I think we can do better than that."
"I like the way you think." Kennedy cradled her face in one hand, and removed the puppy from her lap with the other, then eased Carson down onto the dock, continuing to kiss her, stroking Carson's face and hair, and hovering over her lover, gently brushing their bodies together. They spent a lengthy time in mutual fully-clothed exploration, ending up lying on their backs with Kennedy's head pillowed on Carson's stomach.
Carson ran her fingers through long, dark locks in idle pleasure. "I love your hair long like this."
"And I love when you play with it." Kennedy looked up at the star-filled sky, grateful all over again for a life she had never believed she'd get to live. It was surreal, lying on her dock next to her boat, hearing the crickets chirping on her land, and knowing shortly she'd go inside her house with the person she intended and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Was she crazy to subject either of them to a stint in politics? Their life was shaping into something fulfilling and enjoyable for both of them, and despite hectic schedules, life at home had become nothing short of Heaven on Earth. No matter what the office threw her way, at the end of each day she looked forward to going home, where the cares of life outside the walls of the house melted away.
"Gorgeous night," Carson commented softly. "But getting a little cool out here. You ready to move inside?"
"Yeah. We still going for a long ride tomorrow? The horses could use the exercise." Kennedy sat up.
"Yeah." Carson followed suit. "Supposed to be a really nice day. Might be nice to ride around the edge of the lake, maybe we could -- oh --." Her Treo rang and she lifted it from the clip at her waist. "Hello. Parker? Oh, let me check." She glanced over at Kennedy. "Your Treo on?"
"I thought it was." Kennedy reached for her own belt. "Oh, no it's not. It's inside charging."
"Hey Parker, her's is inside. I can -- oh -- okay. Hold on." She hit a button on the Treo, putting it on speaker. "You still there?"
"Yeah." Parker's voice came through loud and clear. "Hey sis."
"Hey, Parker. Odessa so boring on Friday you're resorting to calling me for entertainment?" She joked. "Oh, wait. Aren't you supposed to be in San Antonio -- taking the kids to Sea World and all for Spring Break?"
"Yeah, we are. Drove over this morning, but Katie started having some pains near the end of the drive." Now they could hear the worry in his voice. "I'm at the hospital right now."
"You need me to come down there? Is she okay?" Kennedy and Carson made their way to the house, both of them intent on packing bags, if necessary. A canine menagerie trailed along at their heels.
"Well, she was bleeding some, but they got it to stop. She's halfway through the pregnancy. They're keeping her here for observation overnight, and I'll take the kids back to the hotel with me for tonight." He hesitated for a moment. "What I called to ask is, and I hate to impose, but if she can't get out, and I'm guessing that will be the case, I was wondering if you or Carson might come down here for the weekend, maybe sit with Katie at the hotel while I take the kids to Sea World and Fiesta Texas? I'm, sorry to interrupt your weekend, and all, but --"
"Of course we will," Carson interrupted. "We could even take the kids while you sit with her, if you'd like." She saw Kennedy nod in agreement.
"Absolutely," Kennedy verbally backed her up. "You sure you don't need us down there tonight?"
"No," Parker assured her. "Until I talk to her doctor tomorrow morning, I won't know exactly what our plans will be. I think regardless, we'll be cutting the week short, but if he tells us she needs to go on bed rest, I'll just pack us up tomorrow and go back home. Um. I guess I should tell you, she's having twins."
"Twins?" Kennedy's voice rose. "I thought she looked awfully big in that last picture you sent, but oh, my god. Parker, you're going to have five kids!"
"A whole basketball team," Carson crooned. "Congratulations!"
"Thanks. We've known since right after Christmas, but got a very clear ultrasound a month ago. Looks like we're having two more girls. Erin is ecstatic." The pride in his voice was not concealed.
"I'll bet she is." Kennedy laughed. "I love your boys, but four of them would be a handful."
"Sis, Erin is handful. Let's not forget who she takes after, and it isn't me or Katie," he teasingly reminded her. "Lord, help me if I have two more clones of you."
"You're paying for your upbringing, bro," Kennedy teased back. "Listen." They reached the house and went inside. "Give me a call soon as you know what you need. We'll pack our bags tonight. It's only about an hour and a half drive down, so we could easily be there before noon."
"Thanks, sis. Hey, could you take the speaker off for a minute?"
Kennedy glanced at Carson. "Sure." She took the phone and pressed a button, and held it to her ear, listening intently. She pursed her lips, making unintelligible sounds in response to whatever he was saying. "Parker, she's going to be fine. Just hang on, okay? If you need me to, I'll have her doctor back home flown in on the first plane out tomorrow morning. No, really. I want my two new nieces and my sister-in-law to have the best care possible. Alright, then. Give me a call tomorrow. Or during the night if you need to. Yeah, love you, too."
She hung up and looked over at Carson. "He started crying. I think he didn't want you to hear."
"Is it worse than he let on?" Carson frowned, taking the phone from her and returning it to her belt clip.
"I don't think so. He's just worried. He's such a good father, and husband. Of course he's worried about the babies, but I think he's scared to death for Katie. If anything were to happen to her, I don't know what it would do to him. He loves her so much. Just like --" She paused, her own voice quivering. "Just like I love you."
Carson automatically went to her, engulfing her in a hug and feeling Kennedy squeeze her in return. She rubbed Kennedy's back and held her, wondering if she was going to cry. When she looked up, Kennedy smiled, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Sorry," she apologized, swiping a hand across her eyes. "It's PMS week, and all. Guess I'm a little emotional."
"There's a lot going on up here." Carson rubbed the top of Kennedy's head. "Why don't we go pack those bags and get some sleep? Our weekend just got a whole lot busier."
"Oh, lord," Kennedy groaned. "I may need to call Chip and beg for a few more days to think."
"Listen to me." Carson drew her over to the couch and gently pushed her down to sit. She sat down next to Kennedy, taking both hands into her own. "I told you I'd support you, whatever you decide. That hasn't changed. Just -- make sure you make the best decision for you, honey. The world will keep turning, whether you end up in the House or not. You already make a valuable contribution to this community. Anything else you do is just gravy, and they should be grateful for anything you're willing to do."
"I love you." Kennedy hugged her again, sinking back into the couch and closing her eyes. Carson felt so good in her arms, and the leather was soft and warm, and she could hear the clatter of multiple dog toenails on the hardwood floor, and cute whining, grunting noises from the puppies. Life was so good. Maybe if she lay there long enough, everything else would right itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kennedy grabbed her ringing cell phone and looked at the clock, cursing silently under her breath. It was before dawn, and calls that early were never good ones, she had learned, not to mention it had woken both her and Carson from a sound sleep. "Hello?" She whispered. Her voice cracked, and she slid out of bed and made her way inside the master bathroom and closed the door.
Carson half-consciously watched her disappear, and rolled toward the nightstand. It was 6:45 a.m. She groaned. "I have got to quit waking up like this." Frowning, she cocked her head to one side, trying to make out Kennedy's muffled voice on the other side of the door. Sleepiness got the best of her, though, and she began to doze on and off, resting her eyes until Kennedy reappeared and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.
"Hey." Kennedy drew one leg up and wrapped her arms around it, the phone still in her hand. "I know I promised you a normal life for a while." She bit her lower lip and studied Carson.
"But?" Carson helpfully asked.
"That was Parker."
"I figured." Carson propped a pillow against the headboard and sat up, pulling the covers up with her to stave off a chill in the room. "How's Katie?"
Kennedy scooted closer to Carson. "They ran some more tests. She has placenta previa. And it looks like she's having identical twins, because the babies are sharing only one placenta. What it means is that the placenta is attached in the wrong place and that's what was causing the bleeding."
Carson reached out, touching Kennedy's arm. "Is she going to be okay? And the babies?"
"Most likely with proper care, she will be. But I don't think I ever mentioned it -- Katie had a miscarriage early last year, before I met you." Kennedy managed a quirky smile. "I don't think they were ever necessarily trying for four, but I also know Katie has never been on the pill. She can't tolerate it, so they pretty much rely on condoms or the rhythm method, neither one always reliable. Anyway, between the twins and the placenta previa, she's in a high risk category, and the doctor wants her on bed rest until she gives birth. She's due in early July, but twins often come early, so maybe June."
"So are they headed home, or do they need us to come down there? Maybe we should start getting ready if they need us." Carson started to get out of bed but Kennedy stopped her.
"Well, they do need us. See, the doctor doesn't want her to risk the long drive back to Odessa if there are any other options. They could get an apartment or hotel room in San Antonio, but with his job, that would mean Parker trying to commute back and forth with the kids and Katie on her own a lot of the time. Not really a good option." Kennedy peered at Carson meaningfully. "What Parker wanted to know, is if --"
"She could stay with us, couldn't she?" Carson interrupted her, her voice rising in worry. "I mean, if she can make the trip to Austin and all, I think she should. You're -- we're her family, right? That's what families do, don't they? Take care of each other?"
"Yeah, they do." Kennedy answered softly, and cradled Carson's face with one hand. "You're sure it's okay with you? A lot of the caretaker role will fall to you during the day, sweetheart."
Carson covered Kennedy's hand with her own. "You're my life partner, K. Katie is my sister-in-law too, now, and those babies are my nieces. I'd do anything for them."
"God, I love you." Kennedy hugged her, kissing the top of her head. "Okay. Then here's what we need to do. I'm going to call Parker. I think I've convinced him to stay down there for the rest of the weekend and take the kids to the theme parks. Parker's going to have a private ambulance bring Katie here, and I'll call him as soon as we get her settled."
"That's fine." Carson nodded her agreement.
"Parker will come by here and see Katie before he takes the kids back to Odessa. All of them are on Spring Break through next week, so we may end up with a houseful for the week, but they all have to go home before school starts back up. And I imagine he'll be flying here as many weekends as he can. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids don't end up staying with my folks in Alpine as soon as school is out." Kennedy hit a speed dial button on her phone. "The good news is there is a specialist at Children's Hospital here at Brackenridge, and Katie's doctor in Odessa will forward her chart electronically, and the doctor here will take over her care. They may end up taking her to Brackenridge for a few days, before they bring her here. I'll just have to wait and see what they decide."'
"Sure." Carson scrambled out from under the covers. "I think the guest rooms are clean, but I'll go double-check, especially the one all my stuff is in."
"Thanks. We can put her in the other room and worry about yours if the rest of them do stay with us next week." Kennedy patted her leg as Carson got out of bed. "I'm getting Parker's voice mail. Hold on. Parker," she spoke into the phone. "Carson is cool with Katie staying with us for as long as she needs to. Call me and let me know what I need to do from here." She hung up. "I'll go put on some coffee and make us some breakfast."
"Cool." Carson paused in the doorway. "We make a good team, huh?" Her eyes met Kennedy's uncertainly.
Kennedy flashed her a brilliant smile. "The best."
Carson's eyes softened and sparkled at her words, all traces of hesitancy gone. "Hey. I think the rooms are going to be fine. You wanna go for a run first, and then make breakfast together?"
"Oh, good idea." Kennedy and the zoo followed her into the hallway. "I'll go let all these critters out and then let's hit the road."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was early evening by the time the ambulance pulled up in the circular drive in front of the house, with Carson following it, driving Kennedy's 4Runner. Kennedy appeared from the back of the ambulance and stepped aside to allow the paramedics to move Katie inside the house. Carson ran over and opened the dogtrot door, so they could take Katie directly to the guest room just down the hall.
They had spent a very long day at Brackenridge Hospital in Austin, where Katie's new doctor had examined her and gone over her chart, while Katie merely rested in a private room Kennedy had arranged for in advance. Both Kennedy and Carson had spent a long time talking with the doctor, going over her medications and things they needed to do to take care of her at home.
"I can walk, really," Katie fretted, as the paramedics insisted on taking her in on a stretcher.
"Sorry. Doctor's orders, ma'am," one of the young men smiled at Katie and then Carson. In short order Katie was settled in the room she'd call home for the next few months, and the paramedics left them in peace.
"Well." Kennedy sat on the edge of the bed, and Carson took a spot in a plush recliner next to it. "I went online this morning and ordered a TV, DVD player, and satellite service for this room, so that should be set-up some time tomorrow."
"Oh, Shea, you didn't need to go to all that trouble for me." Katie looked exhausted, but still managed to smile. "I can read, and I think I can at least wobble to the living room if I want to watch TV." She patted her growing belly, her forehead lined in worry. "I should get a lot of honey-dos out of Parker after all this is over, huh?"
Kennedy laughed lightly. "Considering he got you in this condition, yeah, I think so. Although I believe he'll be earning his share of frequent flyer miles on Southwest by the time these two little ones get here."
"I hope he and the kids enjoyed Sea World today," Katie commented forlornly. "I hope we get to take these two there someday, too." She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears.
"You will." Carson moved from the chair to the other side of the bed and took her hand, squeezing it. She glanced at Kennedy, who appeared grateful for her intervention. "We're going to treat you like a queen and these two little ones like princesses. We'll take good care of you, Katie, I promise."
"I know you will." Katie sniffled. "You know, I about killed Parker when I found out I was pregnant again. We almost had him snipped after Nathan was born. It made me so tired at first, thinking about going through diapers and 2:00 a.m. feedings, and toilet training all over again. Then when I found out I was having twins --" She threw one hand up in the air, and laughed helplessly.
"Five kids." Kennedy shook her head. "I don't think any of us ever figured that for Parker."
"Five kids," Katie echoed her. "I sure never figured that for either of us. I had Erin when I was twenty-two. I'll be thirty-four by the time these two arrive. Funny --" She smiled wistfully. "I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if I was up to this. I had a lot more energy at twenty-two. It's not that I didn't want them. Any baby I make with Parker, I'm going to love. I just never realized how much I wanted them until I was afraid they might not be born."
"They will be." Kennedy's voice was almost fierce in its intensity. "My kids will need cousins to play with, and these two will be the closest in age." The words were out before she had time to think, and she glanced first at Carson, whose mouth was slightly open, and then back at Katie, who was grinning in great amusement, her own situation temporarily forgotten.
"Something y'all need to tell me, Shea?" Katie's eyes twinkled with withheld laughter.
"No, no. Not anytime soon, I don't think." Kennedy scrubbed the side of her neck and glanced at Carson again, who was nodding fervently in agreement. "Just -- well, hell, you're family. We kind of talked about it, in general terms, when we were on that backpacking trip."
"Yeah," Katie giggled. "Parker asked me if I was okay with him freezing a few, what did he call them? -- 'swimmers' for y'all, before he has his vasectomy. He said y'all had talked and you'd asked him to."
"Excuse me." Carson got up, her face red, though whether from embarrassment or anger it was difficult to tell. "I'll go see about making us some dinner." She left the room quickly, almost, but not quite, slamming the door behind her.
"Something I said?" Katie peered at Kennedy apologetically.
"No." Kennedy got up. "Something I didn't."
They heard the porch screen door slam, and both women looked out the bedroom window where they could plainly see Carson striding toward the stables.
"Hmmm. I do believe if it were cold outside we could see steam rising off her right now." Katie tisked at Kennedy. "That's a woman making a bed in the doghouse, if ever I saw one. I guess you know who for." She glared at Kennedy accusingly. "Don't tell me you discussed her having a baby with Parker and didn't discuss it with her first."
"Worse." Kennedy sighed. "She made it pretty clear she didn't want to bear children."
"Oooo. What are you still standing there for?" Katie shooed at Kennedy. "Go on. I'll be fine. I'm just going to lay here and rest and read, and be glad that after these two, I am done."
"Gee, thanks." Kennedy rolled her eyes. "Wish me luck."
"Sure enough, Shea. Now, go." She watched her sister-in-law leave the room, and kept watching until she saw Kennedy running across the yard toward the stables. "You're going to need it." She shook her head. "Though it is nice to know I'm not the only one who hast to put a Nocona in their place from time to time." A smile graced her lips and she looked down, rubbing her stomach. "And the making up part is nice. That's how we got you two, after all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kennedy found Carson in Missy' stall, busily curry-combing her coat. A hoof pick and bottle of oil sat on a small corner shelf, next to a mane and tail comb and a pile of dried apple slices. In the six months they'd been together, the white mare had effectively become Carson's horse. Any time they entered the stable, Missy greeted both women, but warm, contented nickering was reserved for Carson alone. It was an arrangement that worked, and on nice evenings they often went for dusky rides beside the lake, exercising the horses and taking in the fresh air and the tranquility of the land, so close to the city and yet so far removed from it.
"Hey." Kennedy tentatively approached the stall and leaned on the closed bottom half of the door. Carson looked over her shoulder long enough to glare at her, then wordlessly returned to her task. Kennedy sighed. "It's not what you think, Carson."
"Careful, Missy," Carson spoke firmly to her horse, ignoring the tall woman behind her. "If you aren't careful, you'll get turned into a brood mare around here, against your will. If you don't want foals, you'd best watch your back, 'cause it's likely no one else will."
Kennedy's ire rose and she took a deep breath, holding it at bay. She was PMSing, and since living together their cycles had synced up. It was very likely that both their bloodstreams were flooded with the equivalent of a hormonal mosh pit during a grunge rock concert. No, not likely, she mentally corrected herself -- it was a certainty. She was the one most likely to just want to rip people's heads off for breathing too loudly, while Carson tended toward chocolate cravings and weeping at Hallmark television commercials. But when angered during that one special week, Carson was every bit as capable of rage equal to what Kennedy experienced once a month on a regular basis. "Carson, have I ever made you, or even asked you, to do anything against your will?"
Carson ceased her motion for a fraction of a second, then resumed, but it was enough to let Kennedy know she'd hit a button and the blonde woman was thinking about it. "No," she finally mumbled.
"In all the time we've met, have I ever acted in a manner toward you that indicated I didn't have your best interests in mind?" Kennedy reached over, petting Storm, who had poked her nose out of the stall door immediately next to Missy's. She scratched the bay mare's nose, working her fingers beneath the soft hemp halter, receiving an appreciative nuzzle for her efforts.
"No," Carson reluctantly answered. She turned, setting the curry comb on the self and retrieving the mane and tale comb.
"You combed her this morning," Kennedy reminded her, still fighting her own irritation. Logically, from the way Katie made things sound, she knew Carson had every right to be angry. Emotionally, it was maddening sometimes, how quickly Carson could jump to conclusions without having all her facts in place. Carson glanced at her, her nostrils flaring, and then turned, grasping a section of Missy's mane, obviously intent on proving she could do whatever she wished. Which she could. They both knew that and Kennedy wouldn't have wanted it any other way -- something she knew Carson knew. "Listen." Kennedy rolled her eyes and forged on. "I know you're a very private person. I know you're an only child and you're not used to sharing your personal life with people unless you know them very well."
Carson spun around and lifted the comb as if to hurl it, but stopped herself. It would do no good to startle the horses and get herself kicked, or to hit Kennedy, even though she was furious. Instead, she placed the comb on the shelf and leaned against the stall wall, crossing her arms and ankles. "Then why would you discuss me having kids -- getting pregnant, no less -- with Parker's sperm, and not even talk to me about it first?" She frowned and her voice rose. "Knowing I told you I don't want to give birth, and knowing if you tell Parker, you might as well send out a newsletter and tell your whole family. It's probably made its way back to your parents by now. They're probably already planning the baby shower. Now they're going to be expecting . . . " She flung her arms up in the air and made her way to the stall door, shoving it open and pushing past Kennedy, who had barely managed to get out of her way. "Now they're going to be disappointed when I -- no -- you -- have to explain to them that there aren't going to be any blood grandchildren from us." She turned and poked Kennedy in the chest. "I like your folks. I don't want to disappoint them. Not in something as important as this."
Kennedy smiled briefly, then looked down and grasped Carson's finger, gently removing it. So it wasn't just about Carson being angry. It was also about her loving Kennedy's parents, and despite the current situation, she couldn't help but be charmed by that. A good portion of her anger simply melted away, like so much putty. "First of all, it hasn't reached Mama and Pa."
"How can you know that?" Carson jerked her hand away and crossed her arms again.
"Come on," Kennedy allowed a fuller smile, hoping it would warm her lover. "You've met Mama. If she'd gotten the faintest wind of either of us planning a pregnancy, we would have received a crate of knitted booties by now."
Carson couldn't help but smile as well, and nodded, a slight acquiescence to Kennedy's logic. "True."
"And second -- " Kennedy reached up with both hands, raking her fingers back through her own hair. It was so frustrating, fighting with Carson. She hated the tap dancing, and walking on egg shells, and searching for just the right words to both explain and appease. "Second." She dropped her arms and held them out in a pleading gesture. "It's not just about you, Carson. Us having children -- it's about both of us. If you're going to be in a relationship with me, you can't live in a vacuum. Pete notwithstanding, I'm close to most of my family. And that's a miracle, given everything that's happened. You know that. It's a precious thing to me, to be able to go to them with my hopes and dreams -- with the intimate details of my life. It's a gift, knowing I can call on them for support, for help, for advice. So I go to them, and unfortunately for you -- you are the most important thing in my life. That means you are likely to come up in just about any conversation I might have with my parents, or Parker, or even Katie."
"Buh --" Carson frowned and her eyes sparked, a sign she was on the verge of storming off all over again.
"Hold on." Kennedy held up one hand. "Please, Carson, just hear me out?"
"Alright." Carson was tired of fighting. Shoulders drooping, she sought a place to sit, choosing a bale of hay in an empty stall. Plopping down on the springy square bundle, she rested her forearms on her thighs, her hands dangling between her knees. She rotated her head toward Kennedy, who was still standing in the aisle. "I'm listening."
Kennedy shook her head and followed, reclining back in a large, loose pile of hay next to Carson's bale. She plucked up a straw, twirling it between her fingers, then stuck it in her mouth, chewing on it. After wrestling with her emotions for a moment, she sat up, leaning forward, knees upraised, her hands wrapped around her legs. "You remember in Alpine, the day we found out Pete knew we were in trouble on the river and had done nothing about it, and we went to my room just to rest and re-group?"
"How could I ever forget?" Carson responded wearily. "That was the second-worst day of the trip. The worst was that night in the cave when I thought you were going to die." Their eyes met in mutual painful memory, the anger between them mostly gone, replaced by memories of irreparable hurt.
"Well, that was my worst day," Kennedy answered softly. "Because while you were sleeping in my arms, I had time to think about everything that had happened. What Pete did -- and Tom and Rick -- and just that whole chain of events, it scared me, Carson, and it made me so mad at Pete, I was just boiling. You see, I had waited my whole life to find you, and all of that -- driving after they drugged my drink. Us getting shot at. People coming after us -- I realized how close I'd come to losing you -- losing a life we were just starting to build together."
"I was scared, too." Carson reached across, resting her hand on Kennedy's. Even so many months later, her heart was beating fast and she was shaking inside.
Kennedy studied it, almost as if it were a foreign object, surprised at how quickly anger could give over to love. A knot in her stomach untwisted and she twined their fingers, stroking Carson's hand with her thumb as she continued to speak. "While you were sleeping, Parker came in to see how we were doing. You were out like a light, and we talked very quietly, so as not to wake you." This earned her a smile, and she lifted Carson's hand, kissing her palm. "Considering you were the one who stayed awake nearly all night with me in that cave, the least I could do was let you rest. Anyway, my whole life, Parker has looked out for me. When I broke my arm on the school playground in kindergarten he carried me to the nurse's office. When I had the chicken pox he brought my schoolwork home and helped me with it so I wouldn't fall behind. If I got in a fight at school, even if it was my own fault, if I'd bitten off more than I could chew, he stood up for me. And he kept my secrets from Mama and Pa more times than I can count. Even when he went away to school, he came home for my archery competitions and graduation. When you got in trouble in Dallas and I needed him, he dropped everything and came to help. There's never been a time in my life when I called on him and he wasn't there for me."
"I would've given just about anything to have a brother like that when I was growing up." Carson smiled sadly. For every perk there was for being an only child - having her own room and bathroom, not having to share her toys or clothes -- there were just as many downsides. No one to pave the way for her in school. No one to truly share her grief when she'd lost her parents, and certainly no one watching her back.
"Well, you have one now." Kennedy's eyes shone in the soft stable lighting. "Parker stayed behind in Alpine for my folks, but he also stayed for us, Carson. He stayed just in case we needed him, and after all of that, I surely did need him. But that includes you, too. He and my folks, Katie and the kids -- they all love you. So, like it or not, you have siblings now."
"I like it," Carson admitted. "At least most of the time, but that still doesn't explain the sperm conversation." There was no anger in her voice, only genuine confusion, tainted with a touch of hurt.
"While you were sleeping, Parker and I got to talking. For every bad thing that happened, I had so many good things to hold onto. We shared something amazing in that first cave, when the white buck appeared to us. Remember?" Carson nodded enthusiastically, her eyes glowing. "It was a magical moment and for me it really sealed things between us, but I was so frustrated, because I knew you were almost, but not quite at the same place I was. So I talked to Parker about love and how he knew Katie was the right one, and he said because he felt for her the way he knew I do for you."
"I wish I'd been awake for that," Carson answered wistfully. "But I guess those were some pretty raw emotions for you at the time, and I know my mixed signals weren't helping any." She squeezed Kennedy's hand. "I'm glad Parker was there for you."
"Oh, sweetheart, I figured you were going to come around, but yeah, it was nice to be able to talk with him." Kennedy smiled. "So, one thing led to another, and Parker told me he was getting a vasectomy -- that this was their last pregnancy. Out of the blue, he offered to save some of his swimmers for us. I didn't ask him, Carson, he thought of it all on his own."
Carson closed her eyes. "I feel like an ass, now." She nibbled her lower lip and peered sheepishly at Kennedy. "But didn't you tell him about wanting to adopt?"
"I did." Kennedy scooted closer, curling up and resting her chin on Carson's knee. She adjusted her view, turning her head and resting her cheek against soft denim, and looked up. Carson couldn't help but smile, her fingers automatically combing through Kennedy's hair as she listened to her. "And I really hope we can adopt, but since he offered, and since the future is uncertain, I thought it best to cover all our bases, so I accepted his offer, and I told him if we couldn't adopt, maybe you'd have kids with his sperm, or maybe I'd have them with your cousin Gordon's."
"You'd do that for me?" Carson's voice was full of wonder. "I thought -- at least you seemed so adamant about not giving birth when we discussed it."
"Com'ere." Kennedy tugged at her hands and pulled her down, until they were curled up together in the pile of hay. "Better." She held Carson loosely so they were still making eye contact. "And to answer your question, yes, I would. I love you, and sometimes that bubbles over so much and so big, that I'm certain I want to share that with children someday."
"Me, too." Carson rubbed noses with her. "But there's something I don't understand, K, and I never have. Men and women, and women and women, and men and men, they fall in love every day, and when that love gets to be so strong, they marry, or join, or live together, and that makes a family. We're a family now, aren't we?"
"Absolutely." Kennedy nodded fervently. "Pa used to say that wherever two people lived together in love, a family was formed."
"But none of those people who join together are blood relations, are they?" Carson peered at her earnestly.
"Hopefully not." Kennedy laughed lightly. "Although there may be a few exceptions in Arkansas."
Carson playfully slapped her arm. "Stop it, I'm being serious."
"Sorry." Kennedy smiled nonetheless and batted her eyelashes, grateful they were playing with each other again.
"So, what I don't understand," Carson pressed her point, "is why, if two people who aren't blood relations can join together in love and form a family from that love, why they have to try so hard to have a child of their blood. I mean, sure, folks like Parker and Katie who obviously have no trouble getting pregnant -- that's one thing, but for folks who can't, or gay and lesbian couples, I never understood why adoption wasn't a first choice instead of a last choice. If love is what initially makes a family, it seems like they could adopt and love a child into their family every bit as much as they could if they had one by blood. Am I making sense?"
"Complete sense." Kennedy stroked Carson's hair, pushing long bangs out of her eyes. "And I agree with you. But I also know the political climate in this state and country is in flux right now. I hope and pray people will come to their senses soon, and get over their baseless fear, and we'll eventually have the same rights as straight couples, but if they don't -- if the day comes they ban gay adoptions even from places like China, I want us to have other options, Carson, if we want them. If we can't adopt, it will be a lot tougher for them to take a biological child from us."
"Oh." The light dawned, and Carson drew Kennedy into a hug, squeezing her fiercely. "I love you, so much." She nuzzled Kennedy's neck. "And I'm so, so sorry I was pissed at you. Forgive me?"
"I already did," Kennedy whispered into her ear. "You forgive me for not telling you about the conversation with Parker? I meant to. Just, it kind of escaped me in the wake of everything else that was going on."
"Nothing to forgive," Carson answered. She searched Kennedy's eyes, finding the deep love that was nearly always there -- it was one of the things she cherished most -- that what they shared was too deep for words but could easily be seen in a glance, or felt in a heartbeat, or heard in a sigh. She sought out her lover's lips, placing tentative kisses there, and gasping in surprise when Kennedy took the lead, gently exploring with her own lips and tongue, as she lowered Carson down into the clean-smelling hay.
"I have some fond memories of this stall." Kennedy hovered over her, her fingers trailing along the side of Carson's t-shirt-covered breast. "I remember saying goodbye to you in here that first time you visited, wishing you'd never leave."
"Sometimes, if you wish really hard, it comes true," Carson whispered. She reached down, popping the buttons at Kennedy's fly, watching breathlessly as Kennedy did the same with hers. They eased each other's jeans and underwear down, simultaneously seeking each other out, as their lips hungrily joined together again. It was fervent and sweet, an affirmation that their love had triumphed over anger, and that somehow from misunderstanding had come a strengthening of the bond between them.
The climax left them both breathless, hugging each other mindlessly as they spiraled back down to earth. "Hey." Carson rubbed Kennedy's stomach. "Think we should get back inside and make Katie some dinner before we all starve to death?"
"Oh, I imagine she knows what's going on out here." She smiled at Carson's blush. "But yeah, we probably should."
"K?"
"Hmmm?" Kennedy kissed her forehead.
"What if they did start taking biological children away from gay parents? Or children they've already adopted?" Carson frowned as a new worry occurred to her.
Kennedy's features hardened, a far-off look in her eyes. Slowly, she focused again, her gaze intent. "If the day comes I think we're even remotely threatened. If they start taking away kids, or if they pass laws to rip us apart, or if there is ever a true threat of a Nazi-type round-up, you and I will be on the next plane to Canada, or England, or New Zealand, or someplace where we can be safe." She stroked Carson's face with the backs of her knuckles. "I will always, always, do my best to protect you and any children of ours, Carson. Once we have them, no one will take them away from us, ever. I will do everything I can to see that that day never comes."
"You have to run for office, don't you?" Carson watched as Kennedy's own words sank in.
Suddenly, everything fell into place. "Yeah, I do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Chapter 3
© 2007 by Linda Crist
Chapter 2
Carson pushed her asparagus around the plate, politely listening to a representative from the Humane Society of Austin and Travis County give a short spiel on the organization's goals for the next few years. He kept almost constant eye contact with Kennedy, and gave several examples of why the current state government was a bastion of apathy toward the rights and needs of animals. They had heard from special interest groups for education, the environment, the arts, urban development, immigration, women's rights, gay rights, and even from the local "Keep Austin Weird" delegation. It seemed that every special-interest group on both the local and the state level had turned out for the luncheon, in hopes of winning Kennedy over to their side.
It was, Carson observed, as if Kennedy were already a declared candidate and they were there to brief her on topics around which to build her campaign. As she looked around the room at the fifty or so people seated at round tables of five-six each, she realized that those not focused on Kennedy were focused on her. Most bore expressions of idle curiosity, though at least two appeared to be annoyed or disgusted at her presence.
She sighed quietly. Prejudice existed, even among the declared liberals of the world. It was so easy to fight for the rights of your own kind while being blatantly against those of others. But those who were all for the medical legalization of marijuana, or re-vamping of the public school system, or other controversial causes, usually found the most sympathetic ears on the more liberal side of the fence, and had learned to get along in order to be helped along.
When they woke up the second time, Kennedy had calmly explained what the luncheon was for, and before Carson could raise so much as a shocked protest, in the same breath, Kennedy assured her she was only going to make professional contacts. Carson had digested that and decided to withhold both comment and judgment until after the meeting. She had attended a few legal social functions with her lover since moving to Austin, and had come to realize Kennedy wanted her there in the same way other attorneys brought spouses and significant others to such events. Kennedy had joked that her Treo contacts list had doubled in a short time, and blamed Carson's outgoing charm.
She smiled. Kennedy was brilliant, articulate, and drop-dead gorgeous at fifty yards. She was also quietly intense and completely clueless that people were afraid to approach her, not because they were put off by her, but because the sheer force of her personality was overwhelmingly intimidating. When Kennedy stood in a doorway, she filled it, and when she entered a room, she commanded it, by her mere presence. Men wanted her but realized instinctively they couldn't have her, and women, even the self-proclaimed straight ones, couldn't take their eyes off her. Carson had seen 'that' look on more than one perplexed female face. She laughed very softly. Carson realized she was engaged to a jump the fence woman.
Kennedy nudged her, shaking Carson from her musings, and she looked over at the taller woman's questioning frown. Carson mouthed the word 'nothing,' and dropped one hand from the table surface to her lap, then inched it over until she found Kennedy's thigh beneath the tablecloth, giving it a little squeeze. The frown disappeared and she was rewarded with a genuine smile that reached all the way to the depths of Kennedy's blue eyes. It was one of those times when the rest of the world faded away, and for a few seconds, they were the only ones in the room. Then Kennedy's hand found hers and their fingers twined, and both women simultaneously broke the spell, looking up and giving the speaker their partially-divided attention as he completed his spiel.
As he stepped away from the podium, Chip took his place, adjusting the microphone as he looked over at Kennedy. "Miss Nocona, every group you've heard from today is ready to throw its full backing behind you in a run for House District 48. What I haven't shared is the statistics." He paused and peered down at some notes on the podium.
"We are poised on the brink in this state. If the Republicans maintain control of the House and Senate, they are preparing to pass bills that will destroy public education and build up private parochial and other religious schools. They are prepared to support urban and industrial growth at the expense of our environment and the poor. They are looking at passing laws that will greatly-narrow our current abortion laws. They want mass deportation of all undocumented workers. They are also re-working Texas' version of the Defense of Marriage Act. When they are done with it, if it passes, people such as you and your partner, and me and my partner, may not be able to protect each other and our children, even with Wills and Powers of Attorney. You've heard all of that, though."
Kennedy nodded in agreement, as he continued, "What we are doing here and around the state, is looking at every uncontested Republican-controlled district, hoping to at least create a race, and even more hopefully, a win. We understand you will be controversial. We embrace that. We want you to run, and we hope after what you've heard today, you will want to as well. This is a race for the future of our state. What happens in November could have devastating consequences, if we don't turn back the tide of selfish politics now, while we still can."
Chip leaned forward, bracing his hands on each side of the podium, focusing only on Kennedy. "You asked me yesterday why we want you, and I gave you several reasons. What I didn't tell you is that we've scoured your district for potential candidates. You're in a conservative semi-suburban, semi-rural area, full of traditional families. We looked at civic and government officials, attorneys and PTA presidents. Our search began at the end of the last election, and we've looked high and low. You're our only hope for gaining control of District 48, Miss Nocona. What's more, as it stands, the race in the Fall, state-wide, is in a dead heat at present. Every district and every vote will count. We have a plan. Now all we need is the right candidate, and we believe that candidate is you. If you win, you have the power to make a difference in this world that will impact our children's future and their children's as well."
Carson felt Kennedy's grip around her fingers tighten and she glanced over. The twinkle in those eyes was gone, replaced by a stony visage. She wasn't certain what she was reading there, but it occurred to her that perhaps they were no longer there to make professional contacts. In that moment, Kennedy glanced her way, her eyes full of anguish. Carson had only an instant to decide how to react, and she made the only choice she could. She smiled, relaxing her expression and her body language, and leaned over, whispering into Kennedy's ear, "It's okay." Black brows rose in surprise, and Carson felt one squeeze to her hand before Kennedy released it and stood.
She walked to the podium and Chip stepped aside. "Thank you," Kennedy spoke slowly, panning the room. "I appreciate all your efforts here today. I haven't been courted this heavily since our high school quarterback tried to get me to marry him, and y'all can see how that turned out." A tittering of nervous laughter greeted her ears and she smiled. "In one afternoon, I've learned more about the workings of Texas politics, than I ever, ever wanted to." More laughter erupted throughout the room as the crowd warmed to her. "I told Chip I'm no politician. Even if I were to run, that will not change." This was met with applause and only Carson caught the little twitch of her lover's body at the unexpected reaction.
Kennedy waited for a moment, then continued, "The bad news is, I can't give you an answer right away. The good news is, I came here today planning to turn you down flat, but after listening to all of you, I have some things to think about. I have a very busy law practice with a lot of people depending on me to make their lives better, and a law partner that will have to shoulder more of the load if I run. I have a brother and sister-in-law expecting their fourth child in July and they will want me there for the birth. Most importantly, I have a fiancé who means just about everything to me, and I'd never dream of taking on something like this without talking to her first. So, give me through the weekend, if you will, and I'll have an answer for you. Fair enough?"
Amid more enthusiastic applause, she stepped away from the podium and moved to the wall, standing near the doorway. She beckoned to Carson, who looked at her in surprise and then got up to join her. As Carson approached, Kennedy held out her hand and Carson took it. Kennedy looked at her and smiled, then looked up and around the room, her demeanor passively pleasant, in contrast to the picture they painted. Carson released her hand and moved closer, wrapping her arm around Kennedy's waist, while Kennedy draped a long, elegant arm across her shoulders.
It was a defining moment -- and one thing was made crystal clear to the people in the room -- if they wanted Kennedy, they automatically got Carson. There was no room for argument or compromise, and this -- Kennedy drew in a deep breath and finally relaxed, feeling Carson's solid support at her side -- this was who she was now, not a single woman, but one who was very much attached. Anyone who had any thoughts of getting her to downplay Carson's presence in her life to make voters more comfortable or make her more electable, had best think again. Her decision to run was far from made, but her decision to spend her life with Carson -- that was not only made, it was sealed in a place so deep inside her that nothing could touch it. She wouldn't allow it.
"Shall I walk you two out?" Chip joined them, allowing Kennedy to take the lead. She steered Carson from the mezzanine-level banquet room to an ornate staircase, and turned to face Chip, who held up a hand to forestall her. "I know you need some time. It's more than we dared hope for after my conversation with you yesterday. My phone will be on twenty-four seven, if you have any questions. Remember, once the campaigning part is over, should we win, the House is only in session for one hundred forty days, every other year. It's not as if you can't have a fairly normal life most of the time."
Kennedy and Carson looked at each other in mild amusement and Kennedy laughed lightly. "If I thought serving in the House would make the other five hundred and ninety days normal for us, I'd sign on the dotted line right now." Chip tilted his head in puzzlement but politely refrained from comment, as she continued. "Listen, Chip, thanks for getting us out of there. I wasn't ready to press the flesh with all those folks just yet. I'll admit I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I can't make any promises to you, other than I'll give it some serious consideration, and give you a firm answer on Monday. I know y'all need to get on with finding another candidate if I decline, so I'll not drag this out."
"Completely understandable. Bottom line, Miss Nocona, after all that dog and pony show in there, is that everyone in that room has heard your radio show and watched your interview yesterday morning. Every last one of them believes you're the candidate we're looking for. If you're willing to run, we are -- all of us -- prepared to support and assist you in any way you need us to. Campaigning isn't easy. I'll not lie to you. But know that if you'll do us the honor, you will have all the guidance and help you need."
"Thank you." Kennedy held out her hand and he shook it, then he turned to Carson. "Miss Garret, it was a pleasure meeting you. My offer to answer any questions is open to you as well. And if I don't have ready answers, I'll find them for you."
"Thanks, Chip." Carson shook his hand in turn and they stood silently, waiting until he had returned to the banquet hall. "That restaurant over there has killer chocolate cheesecake." She turned to Kennedy and gestured across the well-decorated hotel lobby. "You interested?"
"I think you could get me to eat a rare steak right now if it would make all this go away." Kennedy took her hand and they went down the stairs and entered the restaurant, following a waitress to a corner table beside the window. They quickly ordered cheesecake and the waitress momentarily delivered two large slices of the rich dessert, plus a tall glass of milk to Carson and a cup of hot water and tea service for Kennedy. Kennedy looked down, her dark hair obscuring most of her face, as she took her time preparing her tea. She dunked the bag into the steaming cup and played with it, ordering her thoughts. Before she could look up, Carson's hand edged across the table and into her line of site, before resting on her wrist.
"I'll support you, no matter what you decide." Carson spoke softly and Kennedy looked up into earnest gray eyes.
"I was hoping you'd tell me you'd leave me if I even think about it," Kennedy joked. "Would make things a whole lot easier, 'cause you'd win, hands down."
"This is too big, honey." Carson stroked Kennedy's forearm with her thumb, and stabbed at her cheesecake with the fork in her free hand. "I would never dream of telling you what to do. We may be partners, but you have the right to live your life in a way that makes you fulfilled and happy."
"You make me fulfilled and happy." Kennedy lifted Carson's hand, kissing the back of it. "I appreciate you not ordering me around, but I need to know what you think. I promised you, after Thanksgiving, that we would spend some time settling in here. I wanted to just live with you, Carson -- do everyday things together and avoid anything hugely stressful if we can, at least for a while. I wanted to have some normal time with you."
"You said it yourself to Chip." Carson smiled. "Honey, you and I can barely go to the grocery store without it becoming an extraordinary event. It seems to follow us no matter what we do. Like this -- you go on TV and next thing you know the Democratic party of Texas wants you in the House."
"That's true enough." Kennedy chuckled and stirred some honey into her tea, then lifted the cup, taking a cautious sip of the hot brew. "But unlike you getting kidnapped and me getting shot, this is something I have control over. I can choose to walk away with you right now and both of us get on with the business of living."
"What do you want to do?" Carson searched her face, already knowing the answer. "More important, why do you want to do it? What if I weren't in the picture?"
"But you are in the picture," Kennedy answered in an anguished tone.
"Pretend for a moment that I'm not," Carson persisted.
"Sorry, babe, that's a place I don't want to go, even as a hypothetical." Kennedy set her cup down and took both of Carson's hands in her own. "You are the most important part of my life. If I do this, it is going to drastically impact our lives on both a public and private level. Are we solid enough to handle that?"
"As a rock. If this is what you want, go for it," Carson shot back at her. "What's the worst that can happen? You spend the next seven months campaigning, and you lose, and we go back to our regular lives. Or you win and spend January through May next year in House sessions. If you enjoy it, you can run again. If not, you serve your one term and get out. For what it's worth, I think you'd be a very good Representative. But do it because you truly want to, not because of guilt-trips from the Stonewall Democrats of Travis County."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Kennedy wasn't annoyed at her words, but truly curious as to Carson's insight. This was another new thing -- seeing herself through the eyes of someone whose opinion meant a great deal to her.
"It means that you sometimes tend to do things out of a sense of obligation." Kennedy opened her mouth to protest and Carson held up a hand. "Hold on and hear me out." She took a bite of cheesecake and waited for Kennedy to quit effecting a pout she knew wasn't completely real. "I don't mean that it's a bad thing. You are dependable. The people you care about, K, you are there for them whenever they need you, even if it isn't always convenient for you when they call. I'm a very lucky woman to have found someone like you. When I went through all that stuff with Nick Giovanni -- that first time he scared me, you dropped everything and flew two hundred miles just to take care of me. And you did -- you handled every last detail -- things I wouldn't even have thought of."
"I couldn't just leave you all alone, Carson," Kennedy argued. "You called me, crying. I -- I already loved you, even then. Getting on that plane was the only choice I had."
"You had a later flight less than twelve hours from then," Carson gently reminded her. "What I'm trying to say is, don't do this because you feel as if the entire State of Texas is resting solely on your shoulders, because it isn't. Don't let anyone guilt you into this -- it's too big to base your decision on guilt trips. You'll only end up stressing and resentful later. Do it because you want to -- because you feel strongly that you have something to contribute."
"I can't help it," Kennedy answered in frustration. "I don't think I can go in without going at it from both angles. I'm not into gay politics. Or any politics for that matter. You know that. But I am into protecting us and our relationship, and what he said about the Defense of Marriage Act -- that alone is enough to get my attention. I have no idea if there are any other gay Senators or Representatives, or even candidates. I don't want to become the gay poster child, but at the same time, he's right. It's going to take people like us to get the rest of the state and the country to get past their incorrect assumptions about who gay people are, and begin to see us as average people, just like them. If I can make a difference there -- and also impact all those other causes I feel strongly about -- if running for the House gives me a chance to do that, even if I don't win, I think I have to at least try."
"I think you have your answer," Carson commented quietly.
"Not quite." Kennedy leaned across the table, resting her weight on her forearms on the linen table cloth. "If I run, you are effectively running, too, sweetheart. If I'm in the spotlight, there's no way you won't be as well. Probably even more than the wives or husbands of other people running. You're not just my fiancé, you're my lesbian lover. The media, and Sanderson's camp will have a field day with us. Are you ready for that?"
"I am," Carson lifted her chin, a touch of defiance already sparkling in her eyes. "Are you? I just have to look good and not do anything stupid. You have to actually get out there and campaign."
"Probably not. The truth is that I probably haven't clue one what I’m getting myself into." Kennedy laughed in honest confession. "But I have to wonder if anyone who runs for office as a novice ever does. Look --" She finally tackled her own cheesecake, chewing and swallowing a few bites of the decadent concoction. "I think I’m going to say 'yes,' but I have four days before I have to let Chip know that. I need to go talk to Valerie, and then I think I'll take the rest of the time off until Monday, and come home and sleep on it."
"I think that's the best decision you could possibly make." Carson accepted the bill from the waitress and whipped out a credit card. "Don't forget I still have a surprise for you for dinner."
"And some puppies to name, huh?" Kennedy winked at her.
Carson smiled sheepishly. "How about you name one and I name the other?"
"Works for me. Can I re-name 'Mayer'?" Kennedy questioned her. Carson nodded in answer, as they stood to leave the restaurant. "Good. I like 'Oscar,' but I think his brother should be called 'Felix'."
"Oh, I like that." Carson stepped out into the afternoon sunshine, which had banished the morning storms. "Very clever. Then I'm calling the girl pup 'Daisy'."
"Daisy?" Kennedy handed the valet their claim ticket.
"Well --" Carson nibbled her lower lip. "Remember those flowers you brought home a few days ago?" Kennedy nodded. "I put them on the coffee table in a vase. It seems we left some pillows on the floor next to it. Did you know puppies can use pillows as step ladders? And that they like to eat flowers?"
"Ai-yi-yi." Kennedy covered her face with one hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Water slapped against the side of the ski boat, as it washed in and out of the slip, hitting the back wall before washing back out again, rocking the two Wave-runners, and rattling the rigging on the sailboat. Kennedy sat cross-legged on the dock, watching the sunset over the lake. She was flanked by Talia and Cody, both of which had their noses resting on her denim-clad thighs. The three puppies scampered about the yard behind her, and over in the corral, Missy and Storm ambled around, sniffing the air and occasionally giving each other a playful nip.
The porch screen door opened and closed, and she made mental note to apply some WD-40 to the hinges. Her back still turned, she cocked her head to one side, listening. She smiled. Carson's distinct footsteps swished through the grass, and if she closed her eyes and inhaled, she caught a whiff of vanilla body lotion drifting on the breeze. As Carson drew closer, Kennedy also detected the fragrance of mint and honey.
"Hey." She turned and looked up as Carson reached her and handed her a cup of steaming herbal tea. "Thanks." Kennedy nudged Talia aside, and the alpha dog obediently moved over enough to make room for Carson. As soon as the blonde was seated, Talia sighed and rested her nose on Carson's leg in the same manner as she had been resting on Kennedy's.
"Welcome." Carson leaned against her a little, as Kennedy wrapped an arm around her. She took a sip from her own mug of tea. "You've gotten me hooked on this stuff. I love the taste, but it puts me right to sleep if I drink too much of it." She elbowed Kennedy in the ribs.
"That's because this brand has Kava Kava in it." Kennedy gave her a squeeze. "Makes you relax. Thanks for the chili, by the way. It was delicious. My favorite recipe, too."
"I know." Carson looked over at her guiltily. "I was planning to bribe you to let me keep the puppies, but you said yes before we had a chance to eat it. Was gonna let you have your way with me, too."
"I think I did that this morning." Kennedy laughed lightly. "So at least half your plan worked."
"True." Carson laughed along with her. She took another sip of tea, enjoying the warmth as it hit her belly. With the sunlight almost gone, the air had taken on an early-evening chill. She could hear ducks chasing each other in the tall marsh grass at the edge of the water, and she knew soon there would be ducklings. She'd always loved Austin in the spring, and was looking forward to seeing Kennedy's property covered in wildflowers, and seeing the orange blossoms blooming in the nearby grove."
"I've been thinking some more," Kennedy mused. "And I pulled up some stats online this afternoon. Winning this district is more than a long shot. It's a near impossibility. The folks around here may be socially tolerant, but they're fiscally conservative, and they vote Republican every time."
"You're fiscally conservative," Carson gently pointed out. "You may be a bleeding heart liberal when it comes to human rights, honey, but otherwise, you're one of the most conservative feminists I know. I can't see you going around throwing taxpayer money away. Seems to me like you'd be very practical when it comes to matters of the state budget."
"That is all well and good, and accurate," Kennedy agreed with her. "But as I already pointed out to Chip, I'm an out lesbian living in sin with my illegally beautiful girlfriend. That cancels out the conservative part in the minds of most people."
"Illegal?" Carson smiled at the compliment, nonetheless.
"Your body should be registered as a lethal weapon." Kennedy leaned closer, stealing a quick kiss. "You about kill me with it on a daily basis."
"Yes, but it's reserved just for you. I don't plan to be killing any members of the voting public. At least not unless they do something stupid that calls for a good killing," she joked. Privately, she wasn't so sure she'd make it through an election without at least a few verbal knock-down drag-outs. Carson had discovered, little by little, that when it came to Kennedy, she had a protective streak a mile wide. Anyone who tried to hurt her was sure to face Carson's wrath if she were anywhere in their vicinity at the time of the offense.
"Well, I certainly hope you don't plan to kill anyone else the way you slay me." Kennedy nuzzled her hair and rested her chin on top of Carson's head, enjoying the quiet moment.
"Yours and only yours, babe." Carson finished her tea and set her cup on the dock, then rested a hand on Kennedy's calf, idly stroking the soft denim. "But seriously, if you're going to do this thing, you have to go in knowing there is a possibility you will win, however slight it may be. If you do win, is this something you want? I know -- already asked and answered, but truly, do you want to be a State Representative?"
"Honestly?" Kennedy felt Carson nod in answer. "Before yesterday it had never entered my mind. When I was in law school, plenty of my friends had political aspirations and law school was just a stepping stone on their way to Austin or Washington. For me, practicing law was what I wanted, and the practice I'm currently running is a dream job for me. I help people and at the same time, we bring in enough on the tech law side that everyone I've hired makes a very good living."
"No kidding," Carson interjected. "When you advertised for Marcus' position on Monster, how many resumes did you get?"
"Um. Two hundred fifty or so." Kennedy smiled, remembering the two days it had taken her just to weed out applicants.
"And it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact you're paying your courier a paralegal's salary, and your secretary and paralegal are making equal to what most young attorney associates make, now would it?" Carson nudged her. "I think every legal professional in three counties around is drooling to come to work for you."
"They all work hard. They deserve to be well-compensated for it," Kennedy reasoned, genuinely perplexed at the thought of paying her staff anything less than what she did. "One nice thing -- if I do run, Val and I both agreed we'd need to hire an associate. We get tons of unsolicited attorney resumes. Shouldn't be too difficult to find one."
"So Valerie is okay with all this?" Carson patted Kennedy's thigh, then trailed her thumb along the seam of her jeans.
"She says she is, so all I can do is take her word for it. She doesn't usually hold back on her thoughts. I think she's thinking this will be good publicity for the firm. Hey --" Felix nosed his way between them and gave her elbow a lick. "That tickles." She scooped up the puppy and set him in her lap. He looked up at her in what amounted to adoration, then curled up into a ball and yawned as only a puppy can, then closed his eyes and promptly appeared to fall asleep.
"Aw." Carson reached over, placing her hand on his head. "That's so cute. See, he already knows you love him." She batted her eyelashes fetchingly at Kennedy, who rolled her own eyes in response. "Come on, you know we're keeping them, now, don't you?"
"Wellllll. Okay." Kennedy stole another kiss, taking her time in slow exploration of her lover's mouth. "Provided I get to have my way with you a few more times."
"Only a few?" Carson returned the kiss whole-heartedly. "I think we can do better than that."
"I like the way you think." Kennedy cradled her face in one hand, and removed the puppy from her lap with the other, then eased Carson down onto the dock, continuing to kiss her, stroking Carson's face and hair, and hovering over her lover, gently brushing their bodies together. They spent a lengthy time in mutual fully-clothed exploration, ending up lying on their backs with Kennedy's head pillowed on Carson's stomach.
Carson ran her fingers through long, dark locks in idle pleasure. "I love your hair long like this."
"And I love when you play with it." Kennedy looked up at the star-filled sky, grateful all over again for a life she had never believed she'd get to live. It was surreal, lying on her dock next to her boat, hearing the crickets chirping on her land, and knowing shortly she'd go inside her house with the person she intended and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Was she crazy to subject either of them to a stint in politics? Their life was shaping into something fulfilling and enjoyable for both of them, and despite hectic schedules, life at home had become nothing short of Heaven on Earth. No matter what the office threw her way, at the end of each day she looked forward to going home, where the cares of life outside the walls of the house melted away.
"Gorgeous night," Carson commented softly. "But getting a little cool out here. You ready to move inside?"
"Yeah. We still going for a long ride tomorrow? The horses could use the exercise." Kennedy sat up.
"Yeah." Carson followed suit. "Supposed to be a really nice day. Might be nice to ride around the edge of the lake, maybe we could -- oh --." Her Treo rang and she lifted it from the clip at her waist. "Hello. Parker? Oh, let me check." She glanced over at Kennedy. "Your Treo on?"
"I thought it was." Kennedy reached for her own belt. "Oh, no it's not. It's inside charging."
"Hey Parker, her's is inside. I can -- oh -- okay. Hold on." She hit a button on the Treo, putting it on speaker. "You still there?"
"Yeah." Parker's voice came through loud and clear. "Hey sis."
"Hey, Parker. Odessa so boring on Friday you're resorting to calling me for entertainment?" She joked. "Oh, wait. Aren't you supposed to be in San Antonio -- taking the kids to Sea World and all for Spring Break?"
"Yeah, we are. Drove over this morning, but Katie started having some pains near the end of the drive." Now they could hear the worry in his voice. "I'm at the hospital right now."
"You need me to come down there? Is she okay?" Kennedy and Carson made their way to the house, both of them intent on packing bags, if necessary. A canine menagerie trailed along at their heels.
"Well, she was bleeding some, but they got it to stop. She's halfway through the pregnancy. They're keeping her here for observation overnight, and I'll take the kids back to the hotel with me for tonight." He hesitated for a moment. "What I called to ask is, and I hate to impose, but if she can't get out, and I'm guessing that will be the case, I was wondering if you or Carson might come down here for the weekend, maybe sit with Katie at the hotel while I take the kids to Sea World and Fiesta Texas? I'm, sorry to interrupt your weekend, and all, but --"
"Of course we will," Carson interrupted. "We could even take the kids while you sit with her, if you'd like." She saw Kennedy nod in agreement.
"Absolutely," Kennedy verbally backed her up. "You sure you don't need us down there tonight?"
"No," Parker assured her. "Until I talk to her doctor tomorrow morning, I won't know exactly what our plans will be. I think regardless, we'll be cutting the week short, but if he tells us she needs to go on bed rest, I'll just pack us up tomorrow and go back home. Um. I guess I should tell you, she's having twins."
"Twins?" Kennedy's voice rose. "I thought she looked awfully big in that last picture you sent, but oh, my god. Parker, you're going to have five kids!"
"A whole basketball team," Carson crooned. "Congratulations!"
"Thanks. We've known since right after Christmas, but got a very clear ultrasound a month ago. Looks like we're having two more girls. Erin is ecstatic." The pride in his voice was not concealed.
"I'll bet she is." Kennedy laughed. "I love your boys, but four of them would be a handful."
"Sis, Erin is handful. Let's not forget who she takes after, and it isn't me or Katie," he teasingly reminded her. "Lord, help me if I have two more clones of you."
"You're paying for your upbringing, bro," Kennedy teased back. "Listen." They reached the house and went inside. "Give me a call soon as you know what you need. We'll pack our bags tonight. It's only about an hour and a half drive down, so we could easily be there before noon."
"Thanks, sis. Hey, could you take the speaker off for a minute?"
Kennedy glanced at Carson. "Sure." She took the phone and pressed a button, and held it to her ear, listening intently. She pursed her lips, making unintelligible sounds in response to whatever he was saying. "Parker, she's going to be fine. Just hang on, okay? If you need me to, I'll have her doctor back home flown in on the first plane out tomorrow morning. No, really. I want my two new nieces and my sister-in-law to have the best care possible. Alright, then. Give me a call tomorrow. Or during the night if you need to. Yeah, love you, too."
She hung up and looked over at Carson. "He started crying. I think he didn't want you to hear."
"Is it worse than he let on?" Carson frowned, taking the phone from her and returning it to her belt clip.
"I don't think so. He's just worried. He's such a good father, and husband. Of course he's worried about the babies, but I think he's scared to death for Katie. If anything were to happen to her, I don't know what it would do to him. He loves her so much. Just like --" She paused, her own voice quivering. "Just like I love you."
Carson automatically went to her, engulfing her in a hug and feeling Kennedy squeeze her in return. She rubbed Kennedy's back and held her, wondering if she was going to cry. When she looked up, Kennedy smiled, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Sorry," she apologized, swiping a hand across her eyes. "It's PMS week, and all. Guess I'm a little emotional."
"There's a lot going on up here." Carson rubbed the top of Kennedy's head. "Why don't we go pack those bags and get some sleep? Our weekend just got a whole lot busier."
"Oh, lord," Kennedy groaned. "I may need to call Chip and beg for a few more days to think."
"Listen to me." Carson drew her over to the couch and gently pushed her down to sit. She sat down next to Kennedy, taking both hands into her own. "I told you I'd support you, whatever you decide. That hasn't changed. Just -- make sure you make the best decision for you, honey. The world will keep turning, whether you end up in the House or not. You already make a valuable contribution to this community. Anything else you do is just gravy, and they should be grateful for anything you're willing to do."
"I love you." Kennedy hugged her again, sinking back into the couch and closing her eyes. Carson felt so good in her arms, and the leather was soft and warm, and she could hear the clatter of multiple dog toenails on the hardwood floor, and cute whining, grunting noises from the puppies. Life was so good. Maybe if she lay there long enough, everything else would right itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kennedy grabbed her ringing cell phone and looked at the clock, cursing silently under her breath. It was before dawn, and calls that early were never good ones, she had learned, not to mention it had woken both her and Carson from a sound sleep. "Hello?" She whispered. Her voice cracked, and she slid out of bed and made her way inside the master bathroom and closed the door.
Carson half-consciously watched her disappear, and rolled toward the nightstand. It was 6:45 a.m. She groaned. "I have got to quit waking up like this." Frowning, she cocked her head to one side, trying to make out Kennedy's muffled voice on the other side of the door. Sleepiness got the best of her, though, and she began to doze on and off, resting her eyes until Kennedy reappeared and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.
"Hey." Kennedy drew one leg up and wrapped her arms around it, the phone still in her hand. "I know I promised you a normal life for a while." She bit her lower lip and studied Carson.
"But?" Carson helpfully asked.
"That was Parker."
"I figured." Carson propped a pillow against the headboard and sat up, pulling the covers up with her to stave off a chill in the room. "How's Katie?"
Kennedy scooted closer to Carson. "They ran some more tests. She has placenta previa. And it looks like she's having identical twins, because the babies are sharing only one placenta. What it means is that the placenta is attached in the wrong place and that's what was causing the bleeding."
Carson reached out, touching Kennedy's arm. "Is she going to be okay? And the babies?"
"Most likely with proper care, she will be. But I don't think I ever mentioned it -- Katie had a miscarriage early last year, before I met you." Kennedy managed a quirky smile. "I don't think they were ever necessarily trying for four, but I also know Katie has never been on the pill. She can't tolerate it, so they pretty much rely on condoms or the rhythm method, neither one always reliable. Anyway, between the twins and the placenta previa, she's in a high risk category, and the doctor wants her on bed rest until she gives birth. She's due in early July, but twins often come early, so maybe June."
"So are they headed home, or do they need us to come down there? Maybe we should start getting ready if they need us." Carson started to get out of bed but Kennedy stopped her.
"Well, they do need us. See, the doctor doesn't want her to risk the long drive back to Odessa if there are any other options. They could get an apartment or hotel room in San Antonio, but with his job, that would mean Parker trying to commute back and forth with the kids and Katie on her own a lot of the time. Not really a good option." Kennedy peered at Carson meaningfully. "What Parker wanted to know, is if --"
"She could stay with us, couldn't she?" Carson interrupted her, her voice rising in worry. "I mean, if she can make the trip to Austin and all, I think she should. You're -- we're her family, right? That's what families do, don't they? Take care of each other?"
"Yeah, they do." Kennedy answered softly, and cradled Carson's face with one hand. "You're sure it's okay with you? A lot of the caretaker role will fall to you during the day, sweetheart."
Carson covered Kennedy's hand with her own. "You're my life partner, K. Katie is my sister-in-law too, now, and those babies are my nieces. I'd do anything for them."
"God, I love you." Kennedy hugged her, kissing the top of her head. "Okay. Then here's what we need to do. I'm going to call Parker. I think I've convinced him to stay down there for the rest of the weekend and take the kids to the theme parks. Parker's going to have a private ambulance bring Katie here, and I'll call him as soon as we get her settled."
"That's fine." Carson nodded her agreement.
"Parker will come by here and see Katie before he takes the kids back to Odessa. All of them are on Spring Break through next week, so we may end up with a houseful for the week, but they all have to go home before school starts back up. And I imagine he'll be flying here as many weekends as he can. I wouldn't be surprised if the kids don't end up staying with my folks in Alpine as soon as school is out." Kennedy hit a speed dial button on her phone. "The good news is there is a specialist at Children's Hospital here at Brackenridge, and Katie's doctor in Odessa will forward her chart electronically, and the doctor here will take over her care. They may end up taking her to Brackenridge for a few days, before they bring her here. I'll just have to wait and see what they decide."'
"Sure." Carson scrambled out from under the covers. "I think the guest rooms are clean, but I'll go double-check, especially the one all my stuff is in."
"Thanks. We can put her in the other room and worry about yours if the rest of them do stay with us next week." Kennedy patted her leg as Carson got out of bed. "I'm getting Parker's voice mail. Hold on. Parker," she spoke into the phone. "Carson is cool with Katie staying with us for as long as she needs to. Call me and let me know what I need to do from here." She hung up. "I'll go put on some coffee and make us some breakfast."
"Cool." Carson paused in the doorway. "We make a good team, huh?" Her eyes met Kennedy's uncertainly.
Kennedy flashed her a brilliant smile. "The best."
Carson's eyes softened and sparkled at her words, all traces of hesitancy gone. "Hey. I think the rooms are going to be fine. You wanna go for a run first, and then make breakfast together?"
"Oh, good idea." Kennedy and the zoo followed her into the hallway. "I'll go let all these critters out and then let's hit the road."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was early evening by the time the ambulance pulled up in the circular drive in front of the house, with Carson following it, driving Kennedy's 4Runner. Kennedy appeared from the back of the ambulance and stepped aside to allow the paramedics to move Katie inside the house. Carson ran over and opened the dogtrot door, so they could take Katie directly to the guest room just down the hall.
They had spent a very long day at Brackenridge Hospital in Austin, where Katie's new doctor had examined her and gone over her chart, while Katie merely rested in a private room Kennedy had arranged for in advance. Both Kennedy and Carson had spent a long time talking with the doctor, going over her medications and things they needed to do to take care of her at home.
"I can walk, really," Katie fretted, as the paramedics insisted on taking her in on a stretcher.
"Sorry. Doctor's orders, ma'am," one of the young men smiled at Katie and then Carson. In short order Katie was settled in the room she'd call home for the next few months, and the paramedics left them in peace.
"Well." Kennedy sat on the edge of the bed, and Carson took a spot in a plush recliner next to it. "I went online this morning and ordered a TV, DVD player, and satellite service for this room, so that should be set-up some time tomorrow."
"Oh, Shea, you didn't need to go to all that trouble for me." Katie looked exhausted, but still managed to smile. "I can read, and I think I can at least wobble to the living room if I want to watch TV." She patted her growing belly, her forehead lined in worry. "I should get a lot of honey-dos out of Parker after all this is over, huh?"
Kennedy laughed lightly. "Considering he got you in this condition, yeah, I think so. Although I believe he'll be earning his share of frequent flyer miles on Southwest by the time these two little ones get here."
"I hope he and the kids enjoyed Sea World today," Katie commented forlornly. "I hope we get to take these two there someday, too." She looked up, her eyes brimming with tears.
"You will." Carson moved from the chair to the other side of the bed and took her hand, squeezing it. She glanced at Kennedy, who appeared grateful for her intervention. "We're going to treat you like a queen and these two little ones like princesses. We'll take good care of you, Katie, I promise."
"I know you will." Katie sniffled. "You know, I about killed Parker when I found out I was pregnant again. We almost had him snipped after Nathan was born. It made me so tired at first, thinking about going through diapers and 2:00 a.m. feedings, and toilet training all over again. Then when I found out I was having twins --" She threw one hand up in the air, and laughed helplessly.
"Five kids." Kennedy shook her head. "I don't think any of us ever figured that for Parker."
"Five kids," Katie echoed her. "I sure never figured that for either of us. I had Erin when I was twenty-two. I'll be thirty-four by the time these two arrive. Funny --" She smiled wistfully. "I can't tell you how many times I've wondered if I was up to this. I had a lot more energy at twenty-two. It's not that I didn't want them. Any baby I make with Parker, I'm going to love. I just never realized how much I wanted them until I was afraid they might not be born."
"They will be." Kennedy's voice was almost fierce in its intensity. "My kids will need cousins to play with, and these two will be the closest in age." The words were out before she had time to think, and she glanced first at Carson, whose mouth was slightly open, and then back at Katie, who was grinning in great amusement, her own situation temporarily forgotten.
"Something y'all need to tell me, Shea?" Katie's eyes twinkled with withheld laughter.
"No, no. Not anytime soon, I don't think." Kennedy scrubbed the side of her neck and glanced at Carson again, who was nodding fervently in agreement. "Just -- well, hell, you're family. We kind of talked about it, in general terms, when we were on that backpacking trip."
"Yeah," Katie giggled. "Parker asked me if I was okay with him freezing a few, what did he call them? -- 'swimmers' for y'all, before he has his vasectomy. He said y'all had talked and you'd asked him to."
"Excuse me." Carson got up, her face red, though whether from embarrassment or anger it was difficult to tell. "I'll go see about making us some dinner." She left the room quickly, almost, but not quite, slamming the door behind her.
"Something I said?" Katie peered at Kennedy apologetically.
"No." Kennedy got up. "Something I didn't."
They heard the porch screen door slam, and both women looked out the bedroom window where they could plainly see Carson striding toward the stables.
"Hmmm. I do believe if it were cold outside we could see steam rising off her right now." Katie tisked at Kennedy. "That's a woman making a bed in the doghouse, if ever I saw one. I guess you know who for." She glared at Kennedy accusingly. "Don't tell me you discussed her having a baby with Parker and didn't discuss it with her first."
"Worse." Kennedy sighed. "She made it pretty clear she didn't want to bear children."
"Oooo. What are you still standing there for?" Katie shooed at Kennedy. "Go on. I'll be fine. I'm just going to lay here and rest and read, and be glad that after these two, I am done."
"Gee, thanks." Kennedy rolled her eyes. "Wish me luck."
"Sure enough, Shea. Now, go." She watched her sister-in-law leave the room, and kept watching until she saw Kennedy running across the yard toward the stables. "You're going to need it." She shook her head. "Though it is nice to know I'm not the only one who hast to put a Nocona in their place from time to time." A smile graced her lips and she looked down, rubbing her stomach. "And the making up part is nice. That's how we got you two, after all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kennedy found Carson in Missy' stall, busily curry-combing her coat. A hoof pick and bottle of oil sat on a small corner shelf, next to a mane and tail comb and a pile of dried apple slices. In the six months they'd been together, the white mare had effectively become Carson's horse. Any time they entered the stable, Missy greeted both women, but warm, contented nickering was reserved for Carson alone. It was an arrangement that worked, and on nice evenings they often went for dusky rides beside the lake, exercising the horses and taking in the fresh air and the tranquility of the land, so close to the city and yet so far removed from it.
"Hey." Kennedy tentatively approached the stall and leaned on the closed bottom half of the door. Carson looked over her shoulder long enough to glare at her, then wordlessly returned to her task. Kennedy sighed. "It's not what you think, Carson."
"Careful, Missy," Carson spoke firmly to her horse, ignoring the tall woman behind her. "If you aren't careful, you'll get turned into a brood mare around here, against your will. If you don't want foals, you'd best watch your back, 'cause it's likely no one else will."
Kennedy's ire rose and she took a deep breath, holding it at bay. She was PMSing, and since living together their cycles had synced up. It was very likely that both their bloodstreams were flooded with the equivalent of a hormonal mosh pit during a grunge rock concert. No, not likely, she mentally corrected herself -- it was a certainty. She was the one most likely to just want to rip people's heads off for breathing too loudly, while Carson tended toward chocolate cravings and weeping at Hallmark television commercials. But when angered during that one special week, Carson was every bit as capable of rage equal to what Kennedy experienced once a month on a regular basis. "Carson, have I ever made you, or even asked you, to do anything against your will?"
Carson ceased her motion for a fraction of a second, then resumed, but it was enough to let Kennedy know she'd hit a button and the blonde woman was thinking about it. "No," she finally mumbled.
"In all the time we've met, have I ever acted in a manner toward you that indicated I didn't have your best interests in mind?" Kennedy reached over, petting Storm, who had poked her nose out of the stall door immediately next to Missy's. She scratched the bay mare's nose, working her fingers beneath the soft hemp halter, receiving an appreciative nuzzle for her efforts.
"No," Carson reluctantly answered. She turned, setting the curry comb on the self and retrieving the mane and tale comb.
"You combed her this morning," Kennedy reminded her, still fighting her own irritation. Logically, from the way Katie made things sound, she knew Carson had every right to be angry. Emotionally, it was maddening sometimes, how quickly Carson could jump to conclusions without having all her facts in place. Carson glanced at her, her nostrils flaring, and then turned, grasping a section of Missy's mane, obviously intent on proving she could do whatever she wished. Which she could. They both knew that and Kennedy wouldn't have wanted it any other way -- something she knew Carson knew. "Listen." Kennedy rolled her eyes and forged on. "I know you're a very private person. I know you're an only child and you're not used to sharing your personal life with people unless you know them very well."
Carson spun around and lifted the comb as if to hurl it, but stopped herself. It would do no good to startle the horses and get herself kicked, or to hit Kennedy, even though she was furious. Instead, she placed the comb on the shelf and leaned against the stall wall, crossing her arms and ankles. "Then why would you discuss me having kids -- getting pregnant, no less -- with Parker's sperm, and not even talk to me about it first?" She frowned and her voice rose. "Knowing I told you I don't want to give birth, and knowing if you tell Parker, you might as well send out a newsletter and tell your whole family. It's probably made its way back to your parents by now. They're probably already planning the baby shower. Now they're going to be expecting . . . " She flung her arms up in the air and made her way to the stall door, shoving it open and pushing past Kennedy, who had barely managed to get out of her way. "Now they're going to be disappointed when I -- no -- you -- have to explain to them that there aren't going to be any blood grandchildren from us." She turned and poked Kennedy in the chest. "I like your folks. I don't want to disappoint them. Not in something as important as this."
Kennedy smiled briefly, then looked down and grasped Carson's finger, gently removing it. So it wasn't just about Carson being angry. It was also about her loving Kennedy's parents, and despite the current situation, she couldn't help but be charmed by that. A good portion of her anger simply melted away, like so much putty. "First of all, it hasn't reached Mama and Pa."
"How can you know that?" Carson jerked her hand away and crossed her arms again.
"Come on," Kennedy allowed a fuller smile, hoping it would warm her lover. "You've met Mama. If she'd gotten the faintest wind of either of us planning a pregnancy, we would have received a crate of knitted booties by now."
Carson couldn't help but smile as well, and nodded, a slight acquiescence to Kennedy's logic. "True."
"And second -- " Kennedy reached up with both hands, raking her fingers back through her own hair. It was so frustrating, fighting with Carson. She hated the tap dancing, and walking on egg shells, and searching for just the right words to both explain and appease. "Second." She dropped her arms and held them out in a pleading gesture. "It's not just about you, Carson. Us having children -- it's about both of us. If you're going to be in a relationship with me, you can't live in a vacuum. Pete notwithstanding, I'm close to most of my family. And that's a miracle, given everything that's happened. You know that. It's a precious thing to me, to be able to go to them with my hopes and dreams -- with the intimate details of my life. It's a gift, knowing I can call on them for support, for help, for advice. So I go to them, and unfortunately for you -- you are the most important thing in my life. That means you are likely to come up in just about any conversation I might have with my parents, or Parker, or even Katie."
"Buh --" Carson frowned and her eyes sparked, a sign she was on the verge of storming off all over again.
"Hold on." Kennedy held up one hand. "Please, Carson, just hear me out?"
"Alright." Carson was tired of fighting. Shoulders drooping, she sought a place to sit, choosing a bale of hay in an empty stall. Plopping down on the springy square bundle, she rested her forearms on her thighs, her hands dangling between her knees. She rotated her head toward Kennedy, who was still standing in the aisle. "I'm listening."
Kennedy shook her head and followed, reclining back in a large, loose pile of hay next to Carson's bale. She plucked up a straw, twirling it between her fingers, then stuck it in her mouth, chewing on it. After wrestling with her emotions for a moment, she sat up, leaning forward, knees upraised, her hands wrapped around her legs. "You remember in Alpine, the day we found out Pete knew we were in trouble on the river and had done nothing about it, and we went to my room just to rest and re-group?"
"How could I ever forget?" Carson responded wearily. "That was the second-worst day of the trip. The worst was that night in the cave when I thought you were going to die." Their eyes met in mutual painful memory, the anger between them mostly gone, replaced by memories of irreparable hurt.
"Well, that was my worst day," Kennedy answered softly. "Because while you were sleeping in my arms, I had time to think about everything that had happened. What Pete did -- and Tom and Rick -- and just that whole chain of events, it scared me, Carson, and it made me so mad at Pete, I was just boiling. You see, I had waited my whole life to find you, and all of that -- driving after they drugged my drink. Us getting shot at. People coming after us -- I realized how close I'd come to losing you -- losing a life we were just starting to build together."
"I was scared, too." Carson reached across, resting her hand on Kennedy's. Even so many months later, her heart was beating fast and she was shaking inside.
Kennedy studied it, almost as if it were a foreign object, surprised at how quickly anger could give over to love. A knot in her stomach untwisted and she twined their fingers, stroking Carson's hand with her thumb as she continued to speak. "While you were sleeping, Parker came in to see how we were doing. You were out like a light, and we talked very quietly, so as not to wake you." This earned her a smile, and she lifted Carson's hand, kissing her palm. "Considering you were the one who stayed awake nearly all night with me in that cave, the least I could do was let you rest. Anyway, my whole life, Parker has looked out for me. When I broke my arm on the school playground in kindergarten he carried me to the nurse's office. When I had the chicken pox he brought my schoolwork home and helped me with it so I wouldn't fall behind. If I got in a fight at school, even if it was my own fault, if I'd bitten off more than I could chew, he stood up for me. And he kept my secrets from Mama and Pa more times than I can count. Even when he went away to school, he came home for my archery competitions and graduation. When you got in trouble in Dallas and I needed him, he dropped everything and came to help. There's never been a time in my life when I called on him and he wasn't there for me."
"I would've given just about anything to have a brother like that when I was growing up." Carson smiled sadly. For every perk there was for being an only child - having her own room and bathroom, not having to share her toys or clothes -- there were just as many downsides. No one to pave the way for her in school. No one to truly share her grief when she'd lost her parents, and certainly no one watching her back.
"Well, you have one now." Kennedy's eyes shone in the soft stable lighting. "Parker stayed behind in Alpine for my folks, but he also stayed for us, Carson. He stayed just in case we needed him, and after all of that, I surely did need him. But that includes you, too. He and my folks, Katie and the kids -- they all love you. So, like it or not, you have siblings now."
"I like it," Carson admitted. "At least most of the time, but that still doesn't explain the sperm conversation." There was no anger in her voice, only genuine confusion, tainted with a touch of hurt.
"While you were sleeping, Parker and I got to talking. For every bad thing that happened, I had so many good things to hold onto. We shared something amazing in that first cave, when the white buck appeared to us. Remember?" Carson nodded enthusiastically, her eyes glowing. "It was a magical moment and for me it really sealed things between us, but I was so frustrated, because I knew you were almost, but not quite at the same place I was. So I talked to Parker about love and how he knew Katie was the right one, and he said because he felt for her the way he knew I do for you."
"I wish I'd been awake for that," Carson answered wistfully. "But I guess those were some pretty raw emotions for you at the time, and I know my mixed signals weren't helping any." She squeezed Kennedy's hand. "I'm glad Parker was there for you."
"Oh, sweetheart, I figured you were going to come around, but yeah, it was nice to be able to talk with him." Kennedy smiled. "So, one thing led to another, and Parker told me he was getting a vasectomy -- that this was their last pregnancy. Out of the blue, he offered to save some of his swimmers for us. I didn't ask him, Carson, he thought of it all on his own."
Carson closed her eyes. "I feel like an ass, now." She nibbled her lower lip and peered sheepishly at Kennedy. "But didn't you tell him about wanting to adopt?"
"I did." Kennedy scooted closer, curling up and resting her chin on Carson's knee. She adjusted her view, turning her head and resting her cheek against soft denim, and looked up. Carson couldn't help but smile, her fingers automatically combing through Kennedy's hair as she listened to her. "And I really hope we can adopt, but since he offered, and since the future is uncertain, I thought it best to cover all our bases, so I accepted his offer, and I told him if we couldn't adopt, maybe you'd have kids with his sperm, or maybe I'd have them with your cousin Gordon's."
"You'd do that for me?" Carson's voice was full of wonder. "I thought -- at least you seemed so adamant about not giving birth when we discussed it."
"Com'ere." Kennedy tugged at her hands and pulled her down, until they were curled up together in the pile of hay. "Better." She held Carson loosely so they were still making eye contact. "And to answer your question, yes, I would. I love you, and sometimes that bubbles over so much and so big, that I'm certain I want to share that with children someday."
"Me, too." Carson rubbed noses with her. "But there's something I don't understand, K, and I never have. Men and women, and women and women, and men and men, they fall in love every day, and when that love gets to be so strong, they marry, or join, or live together, and that makes a family. We're a family now, aren't we?"
"Absolutely." Kennedy nodded fervently. "Pa used to say that wherever two people lived together in love, a family was formed."
"But none of those people who join together are blood relations, are they?" Carson peered at her earnestly.
"Hopefully not." Kennedy laughed lightly. "Although there may be a few exceptions in Arkansas."
Carson playfully slapped her arm. "Stop it, I'm being serious."
"Sorry." Kennedy smiled nonetheless and batted her eyelashes, grateful they were playing with each other again.
"So, what I don't understand," Carson pressed her point, "is why, if two people who aren't blood relations can join together in love and form a family from that love, why they have to try so hard to have a child of their blood. I mean, sure, folks like Parker and Katie who obviously have no trouble getting pregnant -- that's one thing, but for folks who can't, or gay and lesbian couples, I never understood why adoption wasn't a first choice instead of a last choice. If love is what initially makes a family, it seems like they could adopt and love a child into their family every bit as much as they could if they had one by blood. Am I making sense?"
"Complete sense." Kennedy stroked Carson's hair, pushing long bangs out of her eyes. "And I agree with you. But I also know the political climate in this state and country is in flux right now. I hope and pray people will come to their senses soon, and get over their baseless fear, and we'll eventually have the same rights as straight couples, but if they don't -- if the day comes they ban gay adoptions even from places like China, I want us to have other options, Carson, if we want them. If we can't adopt, it will be a lot tougher for them to take a biological child from us."
"Oh." The light dawned, and Carson drew Kennedy into a hug, squeezing her fiercely. "I love you, so much." She nuzzled Kennedy's neck. "And I'm so, so sorry I was pissed at you. Forgive me?"
"I already did," Kennedy whispered into her ear. "You forgive me for not telling you about the conversation with Parker? I meant to. Just, it kind of escaped me in the wake of everything else that was going on."
"Nothing to forgive," Carson answered. She searched Kennedy's eyes, finding the deep love that was nearly always there -- it was one of the things she cherished most -- that what they shared was too deep for words but could easily be seen in a glance, or felt in a heartbeat, or heard in a sigh. She sought out her lover's lips, placing tentative kisses there, and gasping in surprise when Kennedy took the lead, gently exploring with her own lips and tongue, as she lowered Carson down into the clean-smelling hay.
"I have some fond memories of this stall." Kennedy hovered over her, her fingers trailing along the side of Carson's t-shirt-covered breast. "I remember saying goodbye to you in here that first time you visited, wishing you'd never leave."
"Sometimes, if you wish really hard, it comes true," Carson whispered. She reached down, popping the buttons at Kennedy's fly, watching breathlessly as Kennedy did the same with hers. They eased each other's jeans and underwear down, simultaneously seeking each other out, as their lips hungrily joined together again. It was fervent and sweet, an affirmation that their love had triumphed over anger, and that somehow from misunderstanding had come a strengthening of the bond between them.
The climax left them both breathless, hugging each other mindlessly as they spiraled back down to earth. "Hey." Carson rubbed Kennedy's stomach. "Think we should get back inside and make Katie some dinner before we all starve to death?"
"Oh, I imagine she knows what's going on out here." She smiled at Carson's blush. "But yeah, we probably should."
"K?"
"Hmmm?" Kennedy kissed her forehead.
"What if they did start taking biological children away from gay parents? Or children they've already adopted?" Carson frowned as a new worry occurred to her.
Kennedy's features hardened, a far-off look in her eyes. Slowly, she focused again, her gaze intent. "If the day comes I think we're even remotely threatened. If they start taking away kids, or if they pass laws to rip us apart, or if there is ever a true threat of a Nazi-type round-up, you and I will be on the next plane to Canada, or England, or New Zealand, or someplace where we can be safe." She stroked Carson's face with the backs of her knuckles. "I will always, always, do my best to protect you and any children of ours, Carson. Once we have them, no one will take them away from us, ever. I will do everything I can to see that that day never comes."
"You have to run for office, don't you?" Carson watched as Kennedy's own words sank in.
Suddenly, everything fell into place. "Yeah, I do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Continued in Chapter 3
